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that encourages the inquiring mind.
"Now my parents were not well educated; but they knew the value of education. My father never read a book once; he would read it four or five times."
In addition to reading and listening to reading, the Miller kids were encouraged to develop creative hobbies and build up enthusiasms.
"Anyone who amounts to anything in life," says Mitch, "must have the quality of abandoning himself to one subject. I've always been enthusiastic about some subject. I am never without some enthusiasm about something."
Mitch is a Civil War buff; he has a collection of 300 Picasso etchings; he is an authority on the oboe; he is an active worker for the Democratic Party and has a poodle named "Demmy" ; he practices judo once a week; he's taking dancing lessons; he goes bowling.
His children have absorbed his enthusiasm for scholarly research, for ideas, for being happily active.
Mike, now fourteen, developed an early interest in mechanical things. He is an expert on steam engines ; he builds them. He also collects model trains. He is an authority on Egyptology and on sports cars. He hopes to grow up to be a designer of sports cars some day, although his father suspects he'll be a writer.
"Mike admires beautiful cars," his mother explains. "He likes to see them handled by good drivers. He's against drag racing, the Indianapolis Speedway, and reckless racing. He's very sensible about everything."
Margie, now sixteen, is the champ horsewoman of the family. She rides in horse shows in and around Rockland County, and she also instructs in riding. "Margie is a fine actress, too," says Mitch, "and she's a great student. She's a marvelous researcher. She did a paper on gypsies recently, and it was fantastic. She knows how to dig for facts. She even discovered a new library in New York that I had never known about."
"Don't be a schlepper"
Mrs. Miller is a hobbyist, too. She is a fine photographer. "Photographers tell me she has imagination without slickness," Mitch says proudly. She also collects coins and she shares their daughters' interest in zoology.
At the Miller home, music is everybody's hobby. When the kids were young, Mitch and Frances, who taught piano, did not tell the kids what to listen to. Instead, they just played good music as background.
"All of the children studied piano, then taught themselves guitar and banjo," says Mrs. Miller "Arnie [Andrea] plays guitar. Mike prefers the five-string banjo; Margie sings and does the harmony. All play a little piano, and all adore folk music. Mike also likes classical, especially Bach and Beethoven. Arnie likes classical, too, and good jazz, especially Dixieland and Ray Charles. Margie likes classical."
Mitch says proudly, "They sing marvelous home-style harmony; but they don't want to become professional singers. They're good at everything they
do. I've always told them, 'No matter what you do, do it well . . . don't be a schlepper and drag along!' '
Mitch and Frances encourage the children to make decisions. When Margie was graduated from the Dalton School and was accepted at three universities, she made the final decision. She could have gone to the University of Rochester, where her parents studied and where her father is now a trustee. But she wanted to be independent of her father, and she chose Carlton School, a small co-ed school in Northfield, Minnesota.
Mitch is glad. "Carlton is a school where I'm sure she'll develop an inquiring mind. What impressed me about Carlton is its independence of thought. It's a conservative school, but when the witch-hunting was on and two professors were accused, the college president, a Republican, refused to fire them.
The ultimate challenge
"I admire non-conformists. I've tried to impress on my children's minds that the only people who make something of the world are the individuals. The way to oblivion is to be a conformist. The world is full of imitators who make a good living. But if you've got anything in you, you'll want to create something, not imitate!"
Mitch explains that he and Frances decided to move out of Stony Point two years ago because: "The kids were beginning to be bored. The school was no longer a challenge. Now that we are living in midtown New York, closer to my work, they have retained the basic values of a country town and they are not jaded. They go off to museums and libraries and find things I never knew existed in New York."
He is proud that Mike, fourteen, asked that he go to an out-of-town prep school, Deerfield, after graduating from Dalton School. "He didn't want to waste time in transit daily from home to school and back. He wants to devote that time to studying. He just couldn't get enough of school."
They're good, normal kids, Mitch indicates. "And credit my wife. She's the executive around the house; she establishes the right climate."
When you ask Mrs. Miller how she does it, she says, "It's not by lecturing. I have very seldom lectured the children. We live the way we think is right. We try to set the right examples rather than teach by moralizing."
His daughters date, and Mitch says he has only one strict rule for them. "I've told them never to go on a date without money in their purse. If the boy who's driving the car gets drunk or offensive, I want them to be able to get out and take a taxi home. I want them to walk away from a drinking date."
Mitch sums it all up:
"Parents who grease the way too much for the kids make a big mistake.
"Our kids are at the end of a long rubber band, and they're free. But when they stray too far, I snap them back." — Paul Denis
"Sing Along With Mitch" is colorcast over NBC-TV, Fri., 8:30 P.M. EST.
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