TV Radio Mirror (Jan - Jun 1963)

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Jerry contributes as heavily to Patti's church as he does to his own temple. In the garden of their home, Jerry has placed a white marble statue of St. Anthony, in memory of Patti's late mother. Patti, in turn, prepares their sons for the bar mitzvahs. By honoring each other's religion — by Patti's willingness to raise their children in Jerry's faith — the Jerry Lewis interfaith marriage has succeeded. It is one of an increasing number of such marriages among the stars. Other Jewish-Christian marriages that thrive are: Ed Sullivan and Sylvia Weinstein; Joey Bishop and Sylvia Ruzgo; George Burns and Gracie Allen; Debbie Reynolds and Harry Karl; Sammy Davis Jr. and May Britt; Lucille Ball and Gary Morton; Polly Bergen and Freddie Fields; Arlene Francis and Martin Gabel; Shelley Berman and Sarah Herman; Joanie Sommers and Jerry Steiner ; Phil Silvers and Evelyn Patrick; Hal March and Candy Toxton; Arnold Stang and JoeAnne Taggart; Jan Murray and Toni Kelly; Tony Martin and Cyd Charisse. Of course, many such marriages have collapsed, too: Eddie and Debbie; Eddie and Liz; Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh; Dinah Shore and George Montgomery; Michael Landon and Dodie Frasier; Carol Lynley and Michael Selsman. But no one blames religion alone for these breakups. In twenty-five Jewish-Christian marriages of stars, chosen at random, twenty were between a Jewish man and a Christian girl, indicating the Christian girls are more likely to marry a Jewish man than vice versa. Love against the world Love brings people of different faiths together, but outside forces make it hard for their love to flourish. Relatives, friends, strangers, clergymen usually oppose such marriages. Clergymen usually frown on interfaith marriages. One leading rabbi has said, "Ninety percent of interfaith marriages are unsuccessful. They undermine the stability of the home, increasing the number of unhappy marriages, bringing children into the world with a rift in the marriage which can never be healed." Catholic and Protestant clergy invariably deplore such marriages, too, says Dr. Milton L. Barron, Professor of Sociology at the City College of New York. He points out that clergy warn about "culture conflicts" and oppose such marriages because "conflict almost invariably results from culturally disparate mates and harmfully affects the children." But you cannot stop such marriages, says Prof. Barron, because people of various faiths keep meeting each other. He notes that "interfaith marriages usually produce fewer children than pure religious marriages." He points out there are four main solutions in handling religious differences : 1. The boys follow the father's religion, and the girls the mother's; 2. The entire family takes the religion of one parent; 3. One parent and children join one church, and the other parent remains on his or her own; 4. Everybody joins a "neutral church" such as Unitarian, Universalist, Ethical Culture. The third method is the one that most stars have used in interfaith marriages. It apparently has brought the happiest results for the Ed Sullivans, the Joey Bishops, the Jan Murrays, Burns and Allen, and others. Take Ed Sullivan's marriage to Sylvia Weinstein. They were married at City Hall thirty-three years ago, and again in a Catholic church — in the rectory, rather than at the altar — because Sylvia did not convert to Catholicism. But she did promise to raise their children in the Catholic faith. "When our only child, Betty, started learning her catechism," says Ed, "it was Sylvia who read the questions to her. No mother was so scrupulous in living up to her pledge." To this day, Sylvia remains Jewish, and Ed and Betty continue Catholic. Ed says, proudly, that: "I've never asked a performer his religion, his race or his politics." And : "It was my father who taught me to respect the rights of all people ; he taught me that all people come from God and are destined to go back to God." The spiritual harmony of Ed's home is symbolized by the St. Christopher medal and the Star of David he wears on his key chain. When daughter Betty married a Protestant, Bob Precht, she wanted to marry in the Catholic Church, and did. "If Bob had refused," says Sylvia, "it might have posed a problem, but he didn't. So, for us, religion has never been a problem." The answer seems to be that, when one mate is willing to yield on passing his or her religion onto the children, the religious problem becomes minimized. Joey Bishop and George Burns are examples of Jewish men married to Catholic girls who established good marriages. But each solved the problem differently. Joey's wife retained her Catholicism, but is raising their son Larry as a Jew. George's wife, Gracie Allen, raised their two adopted children as Catholics. Joey says the answer to religion is being democratic. He quips, "What could be more democratic than seeing my Lithuanian wife, who is not Jewish, giving our son a bacon sandwich before driving him off to Hebrew school?" Joey says, "I'm a religious person. I was brought up in a religious home, and I carry a spiritual feeling with me all the time. My mother taught me, no