TV Radio Mirror (Jul - Dec 1962)

MICHAEL LAN DON (Continued from page 49) Dodie learned that happiness is never an easy prize. "There were times in our marriage," Mike said later, "that, for Dodie and me, were the happiest we have ever known. "There were times, too, of fear and disillusionment. But until what happened lately, we always had faith that our marriage would survive." Mike and Dodie strove desperately at times to walk the tight-rope of those fragile in-between days — and to repair the deepening misunderstandings of the days before. Their separation was the final admission of failure. Yet, at all times, they were both religious in their efforts to conceal the times of discontent from the children. We went to Mike to see if we could get at the truth of the matter. Naturally, he preferred not to comment on his alleged relationship with "another man's wife." It's a subject loaded with implications which, discussed outside the courtroom, could easily lead to wrong inferences. But on his three sons, on fatherhood and his love for Dodie, Mike was very articulate, willing and eloquent, though he was obviously greatly disturbed by the beating he is taking from all sides. He clasped his hands tensely before him. "They're my sons," he said quietly, "and I'm their father until the day they die — or I die. "I am a good father to them, and I think Dodie knows that. She knew it early in our marriage, while she lay in the hospital when I thought she was dying. "It was all of a sudden with Dodie. She is a graduate nurse. It's strange with people who are trained in medicine. They are always the last to admit how ill they are. Dodie was bright and cheerful that morning. I'll never forget. A few hours later, we were rushing her to the hospital. "I didn't learn until later that, from her training, Dodie understood all too well the seriousness of her illness. It was one of the reasons she held off so long, so as not to frighten me. But she knew her recovery was uncertain. "They watched Dodie for days before they decided to operate. She was conscious and smiling every time I saw her, but inside she was terrified — and I didn't know." The doctors knew an operation was Dodie's only chance. The night before, Mike and Dodie talked for a while and then Dodie made the startling revelation to Mike. "Mike," she said, "I called my mother. I told her that if anything happens to me I want you to have custody of Mark. You're a wonderful father to him, Mike, and he loves you." Mark is Dodie's son by a former marriage. T Mike tried not to show his concern. v "Until that moment," he explained, "I R didn't realize how terribly serious Dodie's condition was. I knew how much she. too. loved Mark and to hear 82 that she was now considering the possibility of not surviving the operation turned my heart cold. "Yet in that moment of awful panic and shock over Dodie, I could not help feeling proud that she trusted me that much. She was right, of course. I love Mark as much as if he were my own and I've never kept it a secret. It's odd, but I think that Mark is more like me than a natural son could be. "But after the operation I had another shock coming." The doctor called Mike to his office. "Sit down, Mike," he said. "You're going to hear bad news." "I can barely remember the nightmarish thoughts that raced through my brain," Landon recalls. "Oh, God, I thought, this is it! I know he's going to tell me that Dodie is dead or dying. At a moment like that, you pray without knowing you're praying." Mike listened in cold silence. "This will be a shock to you," the doctor said, gently, "but you will learn to accept it. Mrs. Landon will not be able to have any more children." "I wanted to jump for joy," he said, "but I knew that the doctor would misunderstand. He didn't know that I PHOTOGRAPHERS' CREDITS tennon Sisters, cover color by Frank Bez; Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher by Globe; Dick Chamberlain and Clara Ray by G/obe; Vince Edwards and Sherry Nelson color by Bernard Abramson of Vista; Lennon Sisters with Dad by Frank Bez; Perry Como golf pictures by Charles Trainor of Miami News— Gilloon; Burns & Allen by William Woodfield; Cara Williams by CBS; Mike Landon by CBS; Kathy Nolan by Topix; Garry Moore— Carol Burnett color by Jack Stager; Arthur Godfrey by Wide World; George Maharis color by Del Hayden of Vista; Sebastian Cabot by John Hamilton. was prepared to hear that Dodie's illness had been fatal. If I had shown the relief I felt, I was afraid the doctor might think I was happy because there'd be no more children. "The doctor mistook my silence for shock and kept apologizing, saying he was sorry and assuring me that everything medically possible had been done. So it startled him when, unable to contain my feeling an instant longer, 1 grabbed his hand and cried, 'Thank God! Thank God!' "That doctor still thinks I'm a monster who doesn't like children. But I do. "Nonetheless, to know I could never have children with Dodie was a hard blow to take. God knows, I wanted to be a father. Then the second shock came. What about Dodie? In pain from surgery, had she learned that she could not have another child? She had. We helped each other through that crisis." Mike stood up and paced the length of the room. Then he sat down again. "I know the feeling I have inside me for children," he said. "That's why I know I'm a fit father. "When the 'Bonanza' series caught the public's fancy and we knew the show was a hit — and enough of a hit to be established for a few years — Dodie and I didn't think of big cars, a house with a pool and the usual sudden-stardom accessories. 'We put our arms around each other and thought exactly the same thing, together — 'At last! At last! We can find another son!' "We adopted Josh, now two. And a year later, we adopted Jason, now one happy year old. "They're wonderful boys. I love them. I think I am a good father. 1 know I try harder at that than anything else I do — even acting. "I hate it when someone calls them adopted. I think adopted is a word that should be used only for the actual legal ceremony and then dropped from then on. They're my sons — period. Not my adopted sons." But with the success of "Bonanza," trouble arose in a marriage that had lovingly weathered the tribulations of failure. "I don't like to say what caused Dodie and me to break up," says Mike, "but success, take it from me, is much tougher on marriage than failure. Fairure — with two people as much in love as Dodie and I — can keep you together. "All that I can say now is that success drove us apart. I'm sorry. I can say no more." He didn't have to explain — it's the oldest Hollywood story in the books. Once you get on top, that struggle to stay there takes over. Success is a ruthless master in Hollywood. But Mike says it will never take his boys away from him. "The custody and everything will have to be worked out in court, but my love for them is something that can't be dealt with legally. I know Dodie will give me visitation rights and partial custody." As to the question of governmental agencies taking away such young children from adoptive parents, Mike says there is no danger. "That was the first thing I had my lawyer check. They are still our children— always will be. I am still their father and I hope I will be a good one. "I think I'm a good father. I don't think Dodie, in any legal action she might take, will deny that. "If she hadn't thought I was a good father, would she have called her mother the night before major surgery and asked that Mark be given to me?" Unfortunately, Mike's deep-rooted affection for his three sons may not be enough to avoid the stern examination his fitness as a father will face if his relationship with "another man's wife" is revealed as more than just friendly. In a sense, however, Mike's unhappy lot at the moment is of a kind that frequently plagues handsome, married, well-known TV stars. In some instances, simple business luncheons between a star and an attractive married woman start rumors skittering through the hoppers of the gossip-mills. Quick denials by either party only rejuvenate the reports, while the most carefully