TV Radio Mirror (Jul - Dec 1962)

He tried aspirins but they didn't help. Then pills containing the Thalidomide drug were prescribed. He took them. He found they helped him sleep much better than aspirins. ... He brought them home. He suggested that I take them to relieve my nervous tension." (Tension, perhaps, was unavoidable in the busy life of a television star and mother of four.) "I took the pills," Sherri continued, her voice under control, "and found they helped tremendously. Then, in May, I learned that I was pregnant. There was no indication then that Thalidomide was dangerous. So I continued to take it. It gave me good results. It helped relieve my strain. It helped me sleep." One day, she was leafing through her morning newspaper . . . the headlines of world news, of nuclear bomb tests . . . movie-star troubles, marriages and divorces . . . until her interest was captured by a story concerning a drug which caused babies to be born horribly deformed. Almost casually, she noticed that the deformities were being attributed to a tranquilizer drug developed by a West German pharmaceutical firm. Her gaze fastened on the name of the drug — Thalidomide. Suddenly, the word screamed out at her from the columns of small type. Her eyes dilated with terror. Her thoughts raced to a small bottle in her medicine cabinet. She pressed her hands to her stomach and, stifling a gasp, ran to her bathroom. With trembling hand, she opened the door of her medicine closet and reached for a small bottle of innocent-looking pills. The label on the bottle was clearly and terrifyingly marked — Thalidomide! Warning! Too late— or in time? She ran back to the newspaper. She read the story again. Then again. "Then I thought about myself," she said tremulously. "I wondered what I may be carrying around. It terrified me. It occurred to me that, if I were to give birth to a deformed infant, it would be a terrible, tragic thing. "As a mother, I have an obligation to myself. But, most of all, I have one to my baby. Should a child suffer through its life when it needn't? "I felt God had given me a warning to do something about it. If someone had warned me that one of my children was going to be struck by a truck, I would do all in my power to prevent it. If it happened, and my child had lost an arm, I would love and cherish the child and raise it. "But now, God had given me the warning — as if I could prevent the truck from striking." It was a monstrous moment for Sherri Finkbine. All at once, the world of joy and happiness that surrounded her life crashed down around her in a deafening roar. She thought of the baby she was carT rying and of the ominous cloud which v suddenly hovered over the future of that r child. Would it be born a normal, healthy 72 Would it be born grotesquely deformed? Could she chance the birth, with the odds weighted so greatly against a completely average child? What could she do? With a shiver, Sherri contemplated the future . . . her course of conduct. Even before she had a chance to talk with Bob, a possible way out came to her mind: "I'll have an abortion — now, while there is still time." A sinking feeling gripped her inside. "I'm not a crusader for abortions," Sherri told herself. "God knows, I didn't conceive this child for that purpose. I don't want an abortion. I love children — don't I have four? "But this is not what it was intended to be. I cannot burden my family — and society — with a deformed baby." Despite the enormity of the problem which had suddenly been thrust on Sherri, she spoke coolly, calmly, clearly about it with Bob. And yet, she was clutched by apprehension. "I could feel my heart sink, but I was quite calm at first." Long hours and days of soul-searching followed. They thought of their children — Terri, 7; Mark, 6; Steve, 4, and Tracy, 2. Finally, a decision. It was their decision— Sherri's and Bob's. Sherri would have an abortion! They consulted her doctor. The physician arranged for a therapeutic abortion. But then — Sherri let the story out to the public. "I was hoping that what had happened to me might help other expectant mothers," she said. But Sherri's public utterances brought a quick and jolting reaction from the hospital: The abortion was canceled on the grounds that the Arizona law — as in all fifty states of the Union — prohibits the operation unless it is for health reasons. The hospital director wanted legal clarification before proceeding. Sherri and Bob were stunned. They decided, then and there, to seek the abortion through legal channels. They applied to the Maricopa County Superior Court, with an application worded : "The health of the plaintiff is such that the termination of her pregnancy is necessary for the saving of her life." Now Sherri and Bob had to sit back and wait for the court's decision. In the meantime, the groundswell of public opinion grew higher and higher. Across the land, a cacophony of indignant cries blended with a chorus of sympathetic murmurs as news of Sherri Finkbine's desperate dilemma exploded in headlines. "Guilty all my life" Sherri took exception to the criticism. "I am a Unitarian," she wept, as the shock-wave of rebuke struck home. "I have strong personal convictions that abortion is morally wrong. If I am permitted to interrupt this pregnancy, I will probably have guilt feelings for the rest of my life, wondering whether I did the right thing. "But I have seen pictures of the poor little babies who have been poisoned by the drug — they are monsters." The tide of opposition to the abortion swept up in ever-increasing fury, rocking the very foundations of the family's home life. "The three youngest — the six-, four-, and two-year-olds — seemed unaware of the crisis that confronted us," said Sherri. "But Terri, who is seven, began to understand what was going on." Sherri was forced to send the little girl to stay with her grandmother until the crisis was over. Before Terri left, her mother asked her if she knew why everyone was so upset. Looking at Sherri, sad-eyed, Terri whispered: "Yes, Mommy. You have a bad seed and it has to be taken out." In the anxious days that followed their application to the court to validate the abortion for her, Sherri spent sleepless nights worrying, wondering, wishing that the torment could end. Through her mind passed chilling thoughts, a thousand wild and incredible ideas. Sherri even thought that Bob felt responsible for her predicament. "I didn't blame him," Sherri said, in all sincerity. "And I pray he doesn't blame himself. I was stupid and foolish to take medicine prescribed for somebody else." The court's decision did not come quickly. It was marred by a surprise move for dismissal of Sherri's application. County Attorney Charles Ronan and State Attorney General Robert Pickrell carried that motion to the bench on the grounds that "no crime had taken place." Here was the technicality: Arizona statute holds that an abortion is a crime unless it is performed to save the mother's life. Inasmuch as the abortion had not occurred, there was no crime and ostensibly no case. Strictly speaking, the pregnancy should not have posed a threat to Sherri's life. Yet medical authorities agreed that Sherri's awareness of the possibility that she would bring a malformed baby into the world represented a menace to her sanity. Sherri pointed up the peril when she answered the many voices that thundered disapproval of her legal maneuvers. "What people don't realize is that if I went ahead and had this child and took my chances, I know my mental health would suffer irreparable damage. I have an obligation to my husband and my children. "I must be healthy in mind, as well as body, so I can take care of my children as a mother should. I love my youngsters with all my heart — and they deserve a healthy, whole mother. If I went through with this childbirth, I know I would not be healthy and whole." Then came the decision. Superior Court Judge Yale McFate did not act on Sherri Finkbine's request for a ruling establishing that her situation was within the statutory provisions of the law governing abortions — that it was necessary to save her life. Instead, Judge McFate dismissed the case. He found there was no legal controversy, hence he had no authority to decide in the case. The matter was not properly before the court. Judge McFate granted Sherri and her