TV Radio Mirror (Jul - Dec 1962)

But just escaping wasn't enough. He needed more than escape. He had lost his family and he needed someone. He married 20-year-old Paula Quarnali, an Italian exchange student. After their separation, he felt even more alone. Yet even in his emotional agony, he was wise enough not to graduate to sleeping pills or heroin; and he only used benzedrine occasionally. And eventually he had guts enough to try to stop destroying himself. He asked for help. "After two years of individual therapy with . . . a clinical psychologist, 1 began to get a clearer view of my problems and also started doing something about them. "1 enrolled at Los Angeles City College and spent one and a half semesters studying and actually enjoying the fact that I was applying myself. My relationship with my family improved to the point of understanding and love. "In general this period was one of awakening to my potential as a human being. Although during this time I had smoked marijuana, its use was becoming less and less frequent. The seeds [found in his car at the time of his arrest] were from the last marijuana I had acquired. In the six months previous to my arrest I had been very uncomfortable whenever I was smoking it. "Evidently the need or needs that encouraged the use of it in the past was gone. I had proved to myself that through determination and concentration I could accomplish things that I am proud of. I realized for some time that whenever I smoked marijuana it is not something I can be proud of." But it takes time to understand yourself. It takes time to change. Days of time. Months of time. Years of time. And at 2:45 a.m. on Sunday, March 25, 1962, time ran out for Billy Gray. Trapped Deputy Sheriff William G. Burke and his partner, Robert Carroll, watched a 1957 Oldsmobile drive slowly and "erratically" up Gardner Street in West Hollywood. Carroll looked at Burke. Burke nodded. And they glided silently behind the other car. What does it feel like to be trapped? What does it feel like to live out your nightmares? You get out of your car and stand blinking in the middle of the street. One of the officers scribbles something in his book. You discover later that it is a note that you got out of your car with "a slow and staggering motion." They flash a light in your eyes and make another note that your pupils failed to react. You're suddenly aware that your pants are wrinkled, and you try to brush the wrinkles out. But they have already noticed your clothes. They have already made their notes about "a heavy odor of alcohol" and a "strong, musty odor." When they ask you to show them your driver's license, you open your wallet and your hands tremble. And in their notes you "fumbled open" your wallet "and then stopped as if in a daze." Suddenly the silence is unbearable. You have to say something. You tell them that you had been drinking a few beers, that you were on your way to a party. But Officer Burke merely walks past you and opens the door of your car. He notices a white plastic bag under the driver's seat. He smells a heavy strong odor which he suspects is marijuana. He puts the bag carefully away and then he turns to you. "All right, son," he says. "You'd better come along with us." While you wait, the bag with its eight grams of loose green seeds, stems, flowering tops, and leaf fragments is taken to the crime laboratory for analysis. The analysis confirms what the officer suspected. Each and every one of these items is marijuana. What does it feel like to be trapped? What does it feel like to live out your nightmares? What does it feel like to hear yourself charged with "the violation of Section 11530 of the Health and Safety Code: Possession of Marijuana"? It feels like someone has kicked you in the stomach. It feels like your guts are spilling out. It feels like you want to cry. And later — much later — maybe you do cry a little as you listen to a letter written in your defense. A letter written by the person you most want to respect you — the sweet, warm woman who mothered you on television for six years. A letter that says ... "I met him eight years ago when our TV series, 'Father Knows Best,' began. "At that time he was 16 years old and didn't seem to have any parental supervision whatsoever. His home life has been very poor indeed. In fact, I believe he has lived away from his family since he was 17. "He is extremely talented as an actor and has a good mind which has never been properly trained. During the six years I played his mother in 'Father Knows Best,' we saw him through various troubles, but we also watched him develop character and a stronger sense of responsibility. When last summer I took him with me on a seven-week tour of the eastern summer theaters, I found that he had developed enormously. He was the first to arrive at rehearsals and the last to leave. He gave a magnificent performance and grew in stature each week we played. "In fact, he was one of the mainstays of the company from the point of view of morale and discipline. I was tremendously proud of him and encouraged him and it was most disheartening to hear of this current problem of his. "As you know, he has been going to Los Angeles City College, which I feel is a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, he has not had any jobs as an actor for a year. And I think this has left him at loose ends. He has fallen in with the wrong crowd with this lamentable result. "During the eight years I have known Billy, I have always been able to count on his telling me the absolute truth. I feel we must all have great charity for those poor victims of broken homes and irresponsible parents. "Nothing seems to make up for a How I Learned SHORTHAND in O Weeks SHORTHAND No Strange Symbols — No Machines by Jeannine Oster "A series of low-paying jobs convinced me I needed shorthand to increase my earning power. A friend recommendedSPEEDWRITING shorthand and I was delighted how quickly and easily I learned it. Now I have an important secretarial position with a research firm at $1,300 more a year." No "Foreign Language" of Strange Symbol with FOR SPEED WITH ACCURACY ® Over 500,000 men and women have learned shorthand the SPEEDWRITTNG way at home or through classroom Instruction in schools In 443 cities throughout the world. Today they are winning success everywhere— in business, industry and Civil Service. SPEEDWRITTNG shorthand is easy to master— yet It is accurate and speedy. 120 words per minute. Age Is no obstacle. TYPING ALSO AVAILABLE. «■■%■■■■ Write TODAY for FREE book which elves ■J |~ tu}}. dot''1''*— and FREE sample lesson that !■■■ the coupon NOW. I ©School of Speedwriting f£!L „<>**.. I Dept. 311-2, SS W. 42 St. ^M°*Z^Teep'n?> j New York 36, N. V. ^(j,... ' ! Please send me details I and FREE sample lesson. 40th Year □ Home Study D Classroom Instruction D If under 17, check here for special Booklet A Mail will show you how easily and quickly vou can learn SPEEDWRITING shorthand ' I I Name.. Address.. City 64 Page Shoe BOOKLET K Jf's Easy to be Pitied Direct via Mail! | NO RISK TO YOU! MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE Our sensational long hair shaggy slipper. Royal blue or red. bowwow $c 9 5 only ♦a"" S H O E C R A FT 603 FIFTH AV.,NEW YORK 17 Poems Wanted ]H0W1 Popular, Rock & Roll, Country & Western, and Gospel poems for musical setting and recording with "the Nashville Sound". Send poems today for Free examination and our best offer. MUSIC CITY SONGCRAFTERS Studio M, 6145 Aeklen Station, Nashville, Tenn. E0 ■ I GENUINE PHOTO CHRISTMAS CARDS Your Name Printed FREE on each 40 ENVELOPES INCLUDED only $100 Simply send us your favorite snapshot picture, print. We will photograph it and make 40 Genuine Photo Christmas cards and print your name or ANY name FREE on each card. We repeat: 40 Genuine Photo Christmas cards on glossy rich stock! And 40 matching envelopes are included FREE. We don't even need your negative. We prefer picture, print or snapshot. This is the greatest photo Christmas card offer ever. Don't confuse this with cheap printing-press reproductions. These are genuine photographs! Order NOW! Send your favorite photo -any size, along with $1.00 plus 25c for postage and handling for each set. Prompt service sincerely promised but orders must reach us by December 11, 1962. Complete money-back guarantee if not delighted. Sorry, no COD'S. Photo-King, Dept PB-11, P.O. Boi 3111, Grand Central Station, New York 17, N. Y. T V R 89