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Reel Life
Woman's Impenetrable Age
It was hoped that some way of telling the age of women would have resulted from woman suffrage, but even this is to be denied us. In California, where woman suffrage is in use, the question, "What is your age?" is omitted out of courtesy. Thus our last hope is gone.
The great difficulty is that in trying to discover how old a woman is, there is no standard. You can tell a horse's age by his teeth, but that is no criterion in a woman, now that porcelain fillings have come.
If you could separate (or extricate) a woman from the things she puts on to make her young, some progress might be made. But women no longer wait to do this until they are old enough to lack things. Young girls wear false hair now. They also lacquer their faces. Also, in their mental habits, they make themselves up.
A woman of sixty (this at a guess) will make up her mind to look like seventeen. This lady also dances the tango and cavorts like a colt.
There are, indeed, no more old ladies who deserve the name. The mystery of woman's age is greater than ever. And it promises to be buried forever in future politics. — Life.
English As She Is Wrote
Wle have received a copy of the following announcement in a newspaper published in Siam:
The news of English we tell the latest. Writ in perfectly style and most earliest. Do a murder commit; we hear of and tell it. Do a mighty chief die, we publish it, and in borders of sombre. Staff and each one been college, and write like the Kipling and the Dickens. We circle every town and extortionate not for advertisements. Buy it. Buy it. — Exchange.
A Clothes-line Quarrel
By Lloyd F. Lonergan Nov. 21, 1913 CAST
Tom, a commuter Al Russell
May, his wife Mignon Anderson
Helen, their child Helen Badgeley
Harry, a commuter Harry Benhara
Grace, his wife Ethel Benham
Leland, their child Leland Benham
This ridiculous little play, of commuters and their troubles, is comically true to life. The two families live side by side — and they are all the best of friends, especially little Helen and Leland. Then, Leland is kept after school one night — and comes home angry and at war with the whole world. The little girl next door "makes shame of him" — and he slaps her an^ bangs and beats Blanche Marie, her doll. After this, all sort of unpleasant things happen. The mothers quarrel — the fathers shun one another in the street and on the 7:55, mornings. Meanwhile, the children have made up — but their parents are unaware of this. Children don't long harbor spite — bnt grown ups are apt to be obstinate, and take a mistaken pride in keeping up a feud.
One day the two children are missing. Somebody reports that the last seen of them, they were following an organ grinder, hand in hand. Half frantic, the four parents forget their bitter strife in forming a search party. They find the youngsters— Leland manfully protecting the little girl — snuggled down under the leaves, like the babes in the woods. In the rejoicing of the fathers and mothers, all enmity is lost between them forever.
Henry Yallerby— Aftah we's married we'll hab chicken foh dinnah ebery day. Honey.
Melinda Johnson — Oh yo' deary! But I wouldn't ask yo' to run no sech risks foh mah sake. — Puck.