Reel Life (Sep 1913 - Mar 1914)

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Reel Life 23 Absent Minded or Worse An absent-minded scientist, in the employ of the government at Washington, recently met his physician in the street. "I don't know what's the matter with me, doctor," said the man of science. "I am limping badly today. Do you think it's locomotor ataxia?" "Scarcely that," replied the physician. "You are walking with one foot on the; curb and the other in the gutter." — Everybody's Magazine. The Annual Jest Mrs. Welment (bestowing a dime) — "Poor fellow! You say your wife and family are starving — where are they?" Weary Willy — "Dey are boardin' at a summer hotel, lady." —Puck. Who Was Shy? An Irishman going into a small lunch room ordered a bowl of chowder, which was ten cents. When he finished his chowder he placed nine cents on the counter and started to leave, but the waiter called him back, saying: "See here, sir, you're shy a cent," to which the Irishman replied: "Count your money again and ye'U find it's yerself is shy a cent." — Exchange. An Entertainer "My dear," said the New York man, "where did you get the new waitress?" "She said she used to be in vaudeville," replied his wife. "Good ! Now we can have dinners with cabaret features." — Judge. For New Theater I have the finest location in the heart of a city of 40,000 population, located in the middle of Illinois. I guarantee this to be the best location in the city. Write to, Basil Argeropulos, Olympia Theatre, Kewanee, Ills. Let Us Call Your Attention to the Fact That After you have Bought, the Price is a thing of the Past. Quality a thing of the Future. When you Buy, Buy Quality. MIRROROIDE SCREENS AND CURTAINS (Patents Pending) Are sold at a price none of our competitors dare make, because we have the factory facilities to make in quantities and know how. We would rather make small profits and large sales than large profits and few sales. Regarding Quality Our Screens are made of Canvas. Coating is Metalized Glass. Sold under a positive Five-Year Guarantee. It won't Crack, Peel or Turn Black. Tints optional with you. Silver White, Silver Flesh, Silver Amber. Surface Finish Medium Matte A., Heavy Matte B. Filling your requirements as to width of your house and side views. Believe the Evidence of Your Own Eyes Let us send you our large Free Samples. Makes us show you. THE J. H. CENTER CO., Inc. NEWBURGH, N. Y. mi