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Reliance
Thomas R. Mills and Jane Grey in "Slim Hogan's Getaway"
Torture of Tantalus
The golif bug's soul came back from a little range around Satan's preserve with a smile as wide as the Amazon river. "I say," it eixdlaimed, "I doin't caM this much of a ihell. They have the finest golf course out there I ever saw in my life." A droll-looking old soul who was sitting on the safety valve looked up. "But did you see anybody playing on it?" he asked. "No," the newcomer admitted, "I didn't." The old-timer chuckled. "That's it," he said. "Me won't let anyboidy play on it." — Exchange.
Mignon Anderson and Justus D. Barnes in "The Two Little Dromios"
Florence La Badie in "Adrift in a Great City" A Sad Case
A certain doctor, who is, on liis own frank admission, "the ugliest man in four countries," has a keen sense of humor, which enables him to enjoy many real and unconscious reflections upon his facial deficiencies.
Once, after he had arrived too late to succor a poor woman who had been killed in a factory, the local newspaper published an ambiguous account of the case, which the doctor, with grim appreciation, preserved.
Having first described how the woman had come by her injuries, the paragraph went on to say :
"Strong hopes were entertained of saving her life until Dr. P. — arrived; but these hopes unilortunately proved ill-founded, for the moment the doctor showed his face within the door the poor woman fell back with a gasp and expired."
Strong Resemblance
"Say, Billie," said Tommy, "do you believe in Santa Glaus?" "You bet I do!" returned Billie. "I've seen him. I peeked while he was fillin' my stockin' last year." "What did he look like?" asked Tommy.
"Well iif pa'd had a twin brother I'd ha' thought it was him," said Billie. — Judge.
What He Expected
Hugh Hume, the Portland (Ore.) editor, tells a story of .an Irishman ^named Mike Flannery, who found a valuable package belonging to a local capitalist. He took it around to the man's house and was rewarded. As he left he met a friend.
"What's the matter, Mike?" asked the friend, "didn't he give you as much as you expected?"
"I thought he wouild give me more than I expected," replied Flannery sourly. — Boston Herald.