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58 ROAMIN' IN THE GLOAMIN'
that I won the first prize. By this time I had achieved a certain measure of fame in Hamilton and vicinity as a comedian and Rab's confident prediction that I would win the first prize encouraged me to put in my name for the contest. When the night came along the hall was packed. I heard afterwards that there was fifteen pounds "in the house" and that Rab had himself sold most of the tickets beforehand. He himself had entered for one of his own prizes in the "bass or baritone" section. In addition he acted as master of the ceremonies.
The first singer he announced was a tenor who started to sing, in a key an octave too high for him, an operatic solo entitled "When Other Lips." He had not completed the first line of the song when his voice cracked and there was such a torrent of jeers and sneers that the poor devil was glad to rush off the stage. After a girl had struggled through a sentimental song another male vocalist took her place almost before the few half-hearted cheers for the previous competitor had died away. This fellow was a baritone and his song began with the assertion that he was a soldier and a man. As he was a weedy individual in a solemn black suit with a sixpenny tie attached by a hook to his collar-stud and was wearing steel-framed spectacles, the audience simply refused to accept his statement.
He, too, got no further than the opening bars of his song and was glad to beat a speedy retreat to the safety of the anteroom. By this time the audience was in high fettle. They settled down to a regular feast of bear-baiting. But the effect upon the waiting competitors was calamitous. They all had the wind up. Rab, as boss of the concert, ordered another man to "go on and paralyse 'em." He refused — being already half -paralysed himself — and ran out of the hall.
The same thing happened with the next competitor,. In his extremity Rab asked me to take the platform, and,