Roamin’ in the gloamin’ (1928)

100 ROAMIN' IN THE GLOAMIN* at the coloured advertisements in electric light (Broadway would probably have stopped his breath for good!) and inquired of a newsboy the following: — "Hey loonie, fat's a them reed and fite an blue lichties bobbin oot an in ower 'ere see?" The gamin, polite to start with, begged pawdon, sir, and asked him what he had said the first time. The Aberdonian repeated his question in the same dialect but a bit quicker. Again the newsboy confessed that he was unable to "follow" and would the gentleman repeat his question, speaking "a bit slower, guv'nor?" Once more the northern visitor demanded to know "fat's a them reed and fite and blue lichties bobbinootaninowereresee ?" but his temper was becoming shorter by this time and he hurried the last words all together. The newsboy gave him one look of supreme contempt, ejaculated, "Get aht, ye b y Portugee !" and passed on his way rejoicing. Remembering all these idiosyncrasies of Scottish dialect I decided that if ever I got a footing in England I would not use words or idioms which would only befog my audience. I would sing my songs in English I determined but with a Scottish accent. The result was that I was more successful my first week in Newcastle than any other Scottish artiste who had appeared there. The local manager told me on the Saturday night that a few weeks previously they had had a Scot on the bill and nobody could understand a single word of what he said. Of course he "got the bird" badly. Two or three years later I met the little comedian he had referred to and I turned the conversation to Newcastle, asking him how he had done there. "Terrible !" he admitted. "They yelled me off the stage every nicht, Harry. They canna unnerstan' plain English there — naething but broad Geordie !" He went on to explain that he had tried to translate comic Scotch songs into English. This statement intrigued me immensely and I asked him to sing a verse of