Roamin’ in the gloamin’ (1928)

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ROAMIN' IN THE GLOAMIN' 253 sprig got me going from the first time I was introduced to him. I used to listen pop-eyed to his patter about the enormous sums he had made for his clients. And not for a long time did he even suggest that I should employ his invaluable services in any capacity whatever. In fact it began to be very clear to me that I was ten times a fool for not handing over my entire wad to this genius and letting him multiply it a thousand times overnight. Every time he came to see me and started to spin his amazing yarns I went all dizzy at the thought of what I was missing. Then one nice winter morning he drove up to the door of the Parker House Hotel in Boston in a gorgeous twohorse sleigh. That did it. Any man who could sport such a slap-up turnout was bound to be making money for himself as well as his fortunate clients. He took me for a ride over the snow and to the music of the tinkling bells on his horses' collars I fell for a scheme which was to make me a multimillionaire in three weeks' time. All the "wise guys" in New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and Chicago were supposed to be in the plunder; we were each going to have a rake-off that would make my weekly salary sound like a taxi-fare! We dined later (at his expense) at the Algonquin Club — and I passed over my cheque. That's the end of the story. Years afterwards I learned that the sleigh-man got five years' solid for fraud and I was really sorry to hear it, for he was a clever young devil and he "had" me good and hearty. Another time I was introduced through a friend to a man in New York who was reputed to have invented a synthetic rubber which was going to put all the rubber plantations of the world out of business. It was just about the time of a sensational rubber boom. Everybody was talking rubber. Fortunes were being made in the commodity. Henry Ford, the Dodge Brothers, Willys and all the rest of the car manufacturers were (so it was adroitly pushed into me)