Screenland (Apr–Sept 1923)

84 SCREENLAND CE, An Extra Girl Tells You the Truth About Hollywood — Continued from page 82 patch and clocklike efficiency of the whole affair was a trifle breathless, but I was not sorry to fly home to bed. For by this time my eyes and every inch of my body seemed aflame. I passed the night with Dante in Purgatory, and trust I expiated all my sins, past, present, and future. I shudder even now at the painful memory of those blisters. But the friend of childhood proved mine as well. With my nose firmly pinned with a clothes pin, I administered castor-oil in large doses, saturating my eyes, and bathing the poor old arms and legs. Very thankful I was that the WorldWar did not entirely exhaust the supply as it threatened. I am sure I should not be here to tell the tale, if it had. But every cloud hath a silver lining, my dear, for Father Time is a great healer. Everyone marvelled at my exquisite cherry-blood complexion a few days later when I gaily collected my seventeen-fifty for that eventful Decoration Day. In fact, I was paid ten dollars more, next day, to stand in a drug store window and demonstrate, by the use of pantomime, my own peculiar method of producing said swansdown complexion by the aid of certain very expensive cosmetics. If the Castor-oil King only knew ! My Elegant Elephant ¥ July 5, 1922. JL approached the casting-directress with palpitating heart. She always has that effect on me. "Can you ride an elephant nude?" she inquired. "The elephant or me, nude?" I countered. "Well, little trunks and dangling spangles" she explained hurriedly, answering two telephones at the same time. Again, I wanted to ask if the trunks and spangles alluded to me or the elephant but I meekly accepted the job when she said, "Ten dollars a day for two days." She sent me off to have the trunks and spangles fitted, and then I walked home as rapidly as possible : for I was not to begin that eventful elephant nude ride until the following day. The next twelve hours I lived through a living inferno. Here was I, after two years of struggling to express my histrionic talent; longing to act; craving a role through which I could touch people's hearts, or make them laugh, or at least feel some deep emotion. Yet here was I, riding Fool's Gold an elephant, and almost in my birthday suit ! My heart sank to Hell that nightyes, really. Nothing in my career had seemed such utter desecration, nay, even prostitution, of art as riding a poor old lumbering elephant. Perhaps in his native habitat, with other jungle beasts, on a lion hunt, such a ride might be tolerated, but on a studio lot, to the tune of a merry fiddle, and to the jeers of bystanders and ham-actors — ye gods ! M The Next Morning Y eyes were heavy and my makeup bad; my heart ached along with my bones in anticipation, when I arrived at the studio next day, ready for my job as a slave girl in an oriental flashback. But once inside the gate, I reached down in my soul for that philosophy that saves me so often, and I decided I'd love that old elephant, and I did. I plainly saw why the Buddhists worship the white elephant who threw himself from a cliff in order that a starving group of travellers might eat his flesh. Why, my elephant was as elegant and as noble as any King could ever be. I sat proudly upon him all day amid pillows, in a funny little chair they had made for me and strapped on to his broad and spacious back. It felt far more like deep sea voyaging than anything I've done since crossing the Atlantic. All the men about me were negroes, and my own skin was stained a dark brown. Of course we never came within fifteen feet of the camera. All the action of the picture was in front of us. We were merely background. After two days with His Highness, "Elegant", I felt so zoolishly chummy, I went about visiting the camels, the horses and the other elephants. But I realize that animals are as humans; they too have personalities, and they recognize a friend at once. For in visiting these animals, I went merely for curiosity. The camels spit at me, the other elephants brandished their trunks at me, and even the horses kicked up their heels, but my own elephant dropped on his knees the moment he saw me appear. You see, I decided to love "him, even before I saw him, and verily, I believe he knew it ! If only directors and camera men would respond as well to this treatment! I suppose I could be starred in no time. The trouble is, that loving a mere man is apt to have many more startling consequences than loving a placid, five ton, fifty year old elephant ! Entre Nous j September, 1922. JL've been trudging the rounds of six or seven studios every day for three weeks now, and haven't had a single day's work. In fact, I haven't even smelled a promise of work. Why? There's a reason. Listen. When I first came out here every man I met promptly promised me a job in his company, or hastened to introduce me to an influential camera man, or write me a glowing letter to a producer who would positively get me into pictures "the right way." There seems to be a very definite line between getting in right, and getting in wrong. Now to be perfectly frank with you, I shall have to admit that I don't believe there is anyone who has had more pull, or to whom influential people gave more letters to other influential people, than I. I was sent to Fairbanks, to Lasky, to Mary Pickford, to William Farnum and Gordon Edward, and Frank Lloyd, and countless other stars, producers, directors, and writers. Yet for all that, I must whisper to you, that I am counted a failure. As a Movie Star, I'd make a good cafeteria announcer. N A Few Words of Wisdom ow maidens who yearn to be future Marys, Polas, Paulines, and Glorias, hearken to a few words of wisdom from one who, for over two years, has fought the flames of desire for worldwide film fame. They may or may not be worth taking to heart, but they are conclusions reached after many experiences, and are without bitterness, without a grudge, and without jealousy. So before deciding to make the fatal plunge and come out to Hollywood, go into your room, lock the door, and ask yourself a few pointed questions. First: not are you beautiful? We will assume that Nature provided you very kindly with a classic nose, fine eyes, an intelligent, facile mouth, and a fresh and alluring skin. But, do people remember you? Answer this quite honestly to yourself. I won't answer the negative half of that question about myself, but to the last I'll say that no one ever remembers me until they have seen me five or six times. I often test out a casting-direc