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We Interview Ben Turpin
A Playful Interview at Cross Purposes
THE CAST
Ben Turpin We
Tii
Meal
The Scene is the Automat at noon.'W e where We wished to eat and We had said the Ritz. He called for us in a handsome beaver-collared coat and a derby and said, "Hello, girls, how's. your appetite?"
Angela {eagerly): "We can't complain."
Mr. Turpin {resignedly) : "Well, what'll you have?"
Angela {dreamily) : "It really doesn't matter "
Gwenn {nudging her) : "After all, it's food, is it not?"
Angela: "It's food for thought."
Gwenn: "That's a good one. Food for thought. Ha ha. . ."
Mr. Turpin puts a coin in the clot for a cup of coffee and comes back v/ith a glass of mil!:.
Gwenn: "After all, it's life, is
it not? Glamorous silences
mystic tintinnabulations. . ."
Ancela: "Is it true, Mr. Turpin, that in your early days on the screen you played 'William Tell' and in the great scene when you shoot the apple off your little
-Mr. Turpin had asked
. . . A Farsighted Comedian Gwenn Goop and Angela Whittlemore
Place: The Automat
boy's head with ycur how and arrow you killed your director instead?"
Mr. Turpin: "I have worked hard all my life and my wife richly deserves my success, Miss Stretcher."
Angela (frostily): "Whittlemore, please."
Gwenn: "Do you believe in marriage, Mr. Turpin?"
Mr. Turpin: "It's all right fcr some people, Miss Vestibule."
Gwenn {coldly) : "Goop is cur name.
Angela: "Ah . . . there is a thought behind that . . . we shall find it and fathom it . . . we love to fathom things. . . . Life is like that. . . ."
Mr. Turpin: "Have a cup of coffee?"
Angela {sighing): "We suppose we might as
As a golfer, Mr. Turpin has an unusual optical advantage. As to marriage, he declares some people prefer a mandolin to pick on.
well."
Mr. Turpin: {returning with a {Continued c:i page 90)