Screenland (May-Oct 1931)

for May 19 3 1 59 The Girl stood on the Burning Deck read by experts didn't have their iceboxes and garbage pails examined. These are the true character indicators. In them you find extravagance, vanity, lack of imagination, laziness, stinginess, stupidity, carelessness, untidiness and all the sins pictured by the handwriting expert or other good guessers. Qn the other hand these telltale containers may indicate tolerance, inspiration, energy, generosity, cleverness, carefulness and neatness. The whole point is to make the most of what you have and give the pigs a break. Garbage men respect me. One told me once, "Miss Dressier, you have swell swill. You see it's nice for pigs and it ain't taking away from humans like most of 'em." All of which is a delightfully direct way of informing the world that I can cook and like it. Did you ever notice that the bigger the woman, the better the cook? Well, that means my cooking is above the average. When I say I cook, I don't refer to those people who order expensive materials and then start a meal. My idea of a cook is somebody who can take what would otherwise be thrown out and make you want to come again. Suppose I give you a few favorite recipes a la Dressier ? Take steak-tails, for instance. Everybody takes a steaktail, lays it on a plate, carefully puts it in the icebox and throws it out on the third day. Somehow you feel less extravagant if you don't chuck it out upon its arrival. When it comes to steak-tails with me, I make both ends meat. an engraved invitation to a meal so far ahead that J have to turn a leaf on the calendar. 1 can see in advance the crab flakes full of gill gristle carefully masked by the cold gravy they call cocktail sauce. J can see the mock turtle chilling its skin in the clear soup and the other company dinner do-dabs which look so pretty in the magazines and taste like kid gloves just home from the cleaners. No, sir — my idea of enjoying my friends' hospitality is to drop in when they are not expecting me and enjoy honest-to-goodness food! Compare company consommes and bouillon, for example, with my favorite soup which anybody can have every day. Tomato Soup Spoil the shape of four pieces of bacon by chopping very fine, treat celery and onions with equal lack of consideration, add seasoning, a bay leaf, and one medium size can of tomatoes. Nonchalantly consign this luscious mixture to a bright clean stewpan and cook until tender, (the food, not the pan, which will burn if, not watched, but can never be made edible even by me). This done, add one teaspoonful of soda and one pint of milk, if you feel poor, or the same amount of cream, if you feel rich ; strain if you are in a Ritzy mood or leave as is if you just want food, add {Continued on page 117) Miss Dressier was schooled in slapstick. Here she is in one of her early screen comedies, "Tillie's Tomato Surprise." Icebox Steak-tail Take the steak-tail firmly and persuasively, all the while thinking, "Come seven — come eleven,-' reduce it to dice-like pieces. Worry some celery and potato into a similar state. Add one chopped onion, tomatoes if at hand, otherwise any vegetables left over in the icebox, toss in a lump of butter, and simmer these ingredients slowly in a frying pan in the vegetable juices or just enough soup stock to keep from burning. When the odor makes you hungry, put the odor and the mixture causing it into individual ramekins, break an egg over each, add grated cheese if desired, and place in the oven to brown. If you have invited your worst enemy to dinner this will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And why not ask either your friends or your enemies to a pick-up dinner? I shudder when I receive A trouper who is also a home-maker. Marie Dressier with a part of her cherished collection of china and glass in her new home.