Screenland (Dec 1933-Apr 1934)

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SCHOLL has formulated and perfected a Remedy or Appliance for every Foot Trouble, guaranteed to give relief. Ask your dealer. Write for valuable booklet on FOOT CARE to Dr.Scboirs,Dept.35— W.SchillerSt.,Chicago. AMAZING REDUCING DISCOVERY FROM ENGLAND Absolutely Harmless— No Thyroids-~No Physics NOW famous LACET'S MEDICATED REDUCING GUM, imported direct from England, ' is available to Americans. Kecommended and approved by British Doctors. Testimonials prove LACEY'S succeeds where other methods have failed. "I tried many advertised reducing remedies without success," writes Mrs. E. S. P. "I then tried LACEY'S and lost 15 lbs." Simply chew a piece of LACEY'S after meals to reduce without risk to health. Success certain. Satisfaction guaranteed. REDUCE AND REJOICE WITH LACEY'S. Only 75c a boxpostpaid. Remit to LACEY'S. P. 0. BOX 123, Seattle. (In Canada at all druggists.) Write for free circular, "BE SLIM AND ENJOY LIFE." DEAFNESS" MISERY Many people with defective hearing and Head Noises enjoy conversation, go to Theatre and Church because they use Leonard Invisible Ear Drums which resemble Tiny Megaphones fitting in the Ear entirely out of sight. No wires, batteries or head piece. They are inexpensive. "Write for booklet and sworn statement of £>/?f/M the inventor who was himself deaf. A. 0. LEONARD, Inc., Suite 425. 70 5th Ave., New York them can do it. Only occasionally have we a Joe E. Brown. Usually it takes a whole family like the Marx Brothers to be funny that long ! As an example of what we mean, take Zasu Pitts. Up to a few months ago, all Zasu had to do was to appear in a rough and tumble short comedy with Thelma Todd to cause the average audience to burst into chuckles of joy. But suddenly, she and Slim Summerville were cast in a series of features in which, instead of being funny, she was cast as having not an ounce of brains, nor a whit of sense. She's just getting to be a bore! Yes, we still like her "Oh, my's!" and interpretative hands. But we feel she should be given either very, very much better plays or kept in "shorts." Likewise, we remember an awful film in which Laurel and Hardy were cast — an operetta upon which lavish sets, good singing by Dennis King, and a large cast were wasted because the whole effort was made to emphasize the comedy of those masters of slapstick comedy. It can't be done any more successfully than the entire contents of a newspaper could be made of comics, or an entire vaudeville show of clowns. So long as these actors or their producers insist upon trying to have such comedians make full-length features, they will not find success, because broad burlesques of life's tribulations must be so over-emphasized that it can only exist when it is so infantile it causes belly laughs at its very absurdity. And we can't laugh that way for long — we get physically tired if we don't get fed up. Let our ladies and gentlemen of humor provide just that as a counterpoint to straight drama — let them ease our tense moments, give them to us in short skits or interspersed as "bits" in our other forms of the dramatic art. But only give them to us at their best, because a joke's a joke, but a sour comedian is tragic ! Medals! Birds! Continued from page 21 so they can't be evenly divided, the extras go to Dorothy because anyone as gorgeous as she looks in the Ed Wynn picture deserves extra consideration. Lew Ayres gets a medal. I can't quite figure out for what, except that I like him and I can never forget those two amazing performances he turned in in "All Quiet on the Western Front" and "The Doorway to Hell." The latter was before the Hays office got uppity and decided "Hell" couldn't be used in a title. That makes it tough on the studios. You remember only last month how the title of "Captain Jericho" had to be changed to "Hell and High Water" on account of that ruling? This Pollyanna mood I'm in is suffocating me. The aura of sweetness and goo exuding from me is too much. It's unnatural. So I'll leave the hothouse long enough to take a few birds from the icebox. Warner Baxter and Warren William can split a brace between them for being in my not-too-humble opinion the prize hams of the business. As far as I'm concerned they should be paid by the pound instead of by the week. Lupe Velez gets a bird for her ingratitude to writers who have befriended her. Her ingratitude consists in keeping her marriage a secret from them so one writer could have a scoop when other writers have been just as friendly. There's nothing personal about that, either, because I barely have a speaking acquaintance with her. Well, so much for that. I've recovered sufficiently to get back into a marshmallow mood. Gary Cooper rates a croix de guerre because he's the most decorative leading man since Wally Reid, because in "Design for Living" he proves himself a deft farceur — (surprised!) — and lastly because he's still a cowboy at heart. To Miriam Hopkins goes a whole primrose path because she is the most elemental girl in pictures and she always gets her man. Cary Grant gets a medal because, although he started his career as a stiltwalker, he didn't need them to reach the top. Ann Hovey gets the bed of violets be cause she is as modest as they and because in her first part in "Wild Boys of the Road" she turned in a performance any actress might be proud of. . Tom Brown gets a medal because he gets more fun out of life than anyone I know and because he's a corking actor. Joan Blondell gets the daisy bed because she's still as fresh as one — no cracks intended ! — and because her devotion to her husband is something unique in Hollywood and because she peps up any picture fortunate enough to boast her presence in its cast. Andy Devine rates a medal, too, because he has never forgotten the days when he was broke and a dollar is still a dollar to him. When he made a hit he only asked for a nominal increase in salary instead of the telephone number salaries most stars demand. Una Merkel gets the bed of cornflowers because they're as unpretentious as Una and because aside from being a perfectly swell actress, she's so genuine and has such a gorgeous sense of humor she is a fitting friend for Madge Evans. Madge _ Evans gets the edelweiss because it is one of the rarest flowers and most difficult to obtain and Madge is the only girl I know whose sense of humor is on a par with her beauty. Norman Foster gets a medal for being such a good sport when Richard Cromwell got the part in "Hoopla" that he had played on the stage and which he was so anxious to do in pictures. Sally Eilers gets the bed of salphaglosis for being the shrewdest girl in the business and never letting her heart run away with her head. James Dunn gets a medal for sticking to his job and outsmarting the Hollywood gels who were looking for a meal ticket — and because he's good company. Arline Judge gets the hollyhocks because they're unassuming and one of my favorite flowers. By the same token, Arline, in addition to being a fascinating wench, is one of my screen favorites and entirely unassuming despite being married to one of the foremost directors in the business. And she's a great hand at crawfishing. Clark Gable gets an eighteen-carat