Screenland (Nov 1936-Apr 1937)

And Bob Turns the Bazooka on Bing program, but he had the Mills Brothers coming out from New York and he couldn't do anything until they were through. I could tell he wanted me, though, because I heard he went to see the Woodbury people right after that. They turned me down. They said they wanted big names. "I was pretty disappointed," Burns admitted, taking a long drag on the pipe. "I wasn't exactly down and out, but that old bank account was getting pretty low. Finally, I told my wife I was going to shoot the works and go to New York. Cal Cool, who handles a lot of the big broadcasts for the J. Walter Thompson advertising company, had told me he thought I could get on the Rudy Vallee hour if I ever went to New York. That had been sticking in my craw for some time. "So we drew the money out of the bank and drove to New York. But after I got there, I got cold feet. I was afraid to call Gordon Thompson, like Cal had told me, for fear he'd turn me down. Every morning, I'd make up my mind to call him. I had his telephone number written in my little book, and I'd look at it every day and then find some excuse to put it off. First, I'd tell myself it was too early to call — that he'd just come into his office and was opening his mail. Then it would be noon and I'd decide to wait until he got back from lunch. Finally, it would be too late to call at all and I'd decide to wait until the next day. This went on for two weeks. "Then one day I started to call a friend of mine. I had his telephone written right on the same page with Gordon Thompson's number. Suddenly a girl answered the phone and said it was the Thompson office. I was scared to death. Then I made up my mind it was just fate and I might as well go through with it. So I asked for Gordon Thompson. They told me he was busy. I told them I knew that, but he wasn't too busy to talk to me. I commenced to get my courage back by this time, so I told them I knew he wouldn't put me off like that if he knew I had driven three thousand miles just to see him. So pretty soon Thompson came on the phone. He asked me what I wanted. " 'I want to get on the Rudy Vallee program,' I told him. " 'How long are you going to be in town?' he wanted to know. " 'Until I get on the Vallee program,' I told him. T came here to get on the program and I'm not going to leave until I do.' "Well, I guess he thought I was just funny or something, because he finally told me to go over to the broadcasting station for an audition the next morning. "When I got there the next day, a lot of men were sitting around waiting for me. looking kind of bored. One of them asked me where my script was. " T don't use a script,' I told him. " 'Don't use a script !' he said, looking pretty mad. 'How can you have an audition if you don't know what to say ?' " 'I just talk,' I told him. 'and I want to get on the Rudy Vallee program.' "So then they told me to go ahead. So I started talking about how the folks down home were sure going to be disappointed when they heard I was going on the Rudy Vallee program. I told them not to worry about my not making the grade on an amateur program like I'd planned, but that I was just trying out on the Vallee program because the competition wasn't so keen. Continued from page 27 "Well, by the time I got through, those fellows seemed to think what I was saying was pretty funny and they said I could go on the Vallee program. So then I went over and got myself an agent. I told them I figured I didn't need them to get me a job because I had already got it myself, but I wanted to have someone go over and talk about money. I told them I didn't really care about the money and so I wouldn't know how to make a deal for myself and that was why I was hiring them. "So they went over to see the Thompson people and they told them I didn't care about money but I wanted $250 a week. Then they came outside where I was waiting and told me Thompson would only give me $200. " 'I'll tell you what you do,' I told my agents. 'You go back in there and tell the Thompson people I don't really care about the money but I'm a very sensitive person and I won't think they feel friendly toward me if they're going to argue about a little thing like $50. Tell them I'll be so hurt I won't be able to do my best work if they're going to bicker about a small amount like that.' "So my agents came out in a few minutes and told me they'd agreed to pay the $250 just to keep me happy!" "Yes, but what about Crosby? Where does he come in on all this?" I wanted to know. "Just a minute now. Don't rush me," he said, eyes twinkling, as he lit his pipe for the fourth time. "The next time I saw Bing was' right there in the broadcasting station in New York. I was just finishing up on the Vallee hour. Bing was guest star on the Paul Whiteman program and had made the trip just for that reason. As I was coming out of the station, who should I run into but Bing. We went downstairs and had a drink together. We had quite a long talk and I found out how Bing had tried to get me on his program. And I knew then he had been willing to take a chance on me just because he liked me. He didn't care anything about my having a big name. He just liked me. And I felt pretty good after that. "Well, the Vallee broadcasts did me a lot of good. The Thompson people told me they were going to put me on a program with Al Jolson. And then I got an offer from the Kraft people — Bing's sponsors. I never did know from Bing direct if he was responsible for that offer. He'd never tell you. But I've always had a sneaking hunch he was behind the whole thing. "Then it was right after that I had an offer from Paramount to act in "Rhythm on the Range,' I never found out that Bing had anything to do with that, either, but I've always had my suspicions that he did. He's like that about other people. He's always figuring out some way to give the other fellow a break. He doesn't know what the meaning of the word 'jealousy' is. Why, Bing would turn his back to the camera or even get out of camera range, if he figured he could give somebody a chance by doing it. "That's why I was so doggoned mad at an article that came out in one of the papers one time saying we didn't get along. Fact was, I was having dinner out at the house with Crosby when someone brought in the paper. They'd asked me out for a fried chicken dinner. They know I like fried chicken. And they fixed up a lot of biscuits and things they knew I liked to go with it. When we saw this piece in the paper, I was pretty mad. But then Bing started to laugh, it struck him so funny. There we were, sitting at the dinner table in his house, while they were printing stuff about how we couldn't get along ! "Of course, I got all the sympathy. Anybody in my spot would. Crosby, everybody figures, is a big shot. So he doesn't want to give a newcomer a break. It made me good and sore! So you know what we did? We wrapped up a couple of pieces of the cake we had for dinner and sent -them to the guy that wrote the article. On one of them we wrote 'from Bing Crosby' and on the other 'from Bob Burns.' Maybe it was kind of silly, but I felt I just had to let him know he was wrong!" And then Bob went on to tell me a swell story, which I promised him I wouldn^t tell, about heckling Everett. Everett, as everyone knows, is Bing's older brother and manager. It was Everett, lo, those many years ago, who took Bing firmly in hand and started worrying about his career. As a matter of fact, it was time someone started worrying about his career because it was evident at that time that Bing wasn't going to. He didn't even care if he had a career. Romance, not the kind acted for the movie cameras, but a real life twosome, are Binnie Barnes and John King, pictured above at a popular Hollywood night club. 67