Screenland (Nov 1940-Apr 1941)

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Sing all the time, whether you can sing or not. I sing all the time around the house. Sure, in the shower, at the table. All the time. Dolores sings all the time, too. Linda gurgles. Tony gargles. The servants whistle while they work. Ever try to sing and beef at one and the same time ? Can't be done ! "I'm not speaking whereof I know not, you know. I'd have fun if I was broke. I know because I DID have fun when I was broke. I've always kidded. That's what got me into this business. I had to have a job where I could kid because kidding is my natural element and a man has to be in his natural element or he gasps and makes fish-mouths — like when I had been working for two days for the Chandler Motor Company (I was in the Parts Service Department) I formed a quartette. We sang into a dictaphone. Next day the boss plugged in to play back a letter he'd written and got the stale song — I went out, but it was fun while it lasted! "Now, I don't say you can manufacture this attitude overnight. If fun doesn't come natural to you, it doesn't to everybody, more's the pity, you may have to think up some angles to have fun. Buy the Fun Encyclopedia. Buy books on Parlor Games, if necessary (but only if necessary!). Just to get into the way of it. After a while, you won't need cribs. "Too much talk is bad stuff. There's a lot more action than talk in the Hope family, let me tell you. Talk has a way of running into those deep, serious channels. Stay away from it! Don't read too much, either, if you're the unfunny type. Be like me. I read the papers, that's all. I digest the papers. And the Readers' Digest, I love that. "No plot-or-plan is another prescription I offer. I have no plot or plan in my life, I'm not telling you to do anything I don't do. I'm getting a lot of happiness out of my present routine and I'm not making graphs and charts about the next steps till I come to them. I just worry lightly about the Future, if at all. I am That-actor-thatwants-to-be-a-director you've met so often. I'd like to make three pictures a year, then play golf the rest of the time. Think I can arrange that, too, one of these days. "Don't knock your brains out worrying about money is the salt of mirth — yah, yah, I hear you jeering, it would take more than Yehudi to root out that worry-devil — well, go ahead and worry, then, you've got me stopped, I guess. Only thing I'd like to say is this : all right, suppose you do get the dough and you get bad health. Or you get the dough and the things the dough can buy and find you don't want them. Then, and only then if you're pretty bright, does it dawn on you that it's the getting that's the fun, not the 'got.' Who wants to play another game of solitaire once they've got all the aces out ? "I'm not foolish about my money, don't get me wrong. I know what it feels like to have a belly like the flap of a thin tissue envelope. I'm not foolish, I say, but in that department we really live, at our house. We have a budget. Once in a while, we budget-break and spread out a little. Say every six months or so. I won't say that I'm ever recklessly extravagant with money but it gets around quite a bit, in spurts. I sort of bet a little on games, just to diversify my thoughts and reactions. Then, there's always someone around giving you a light tap and you have to respond— a little lighter. But after one of these orgies, we have a Small Talk, Dolores and I, and then we're right back in the bosom of the budget. It's cozy that way. It keeps you reminded that you can't have everything you want, just vyhen you happen to want it. "Good advisers are good bets, too. I really have advisers. And Mrs. Hope's Bob is that rare specimen, a man who really listens to advice and takes it. By good advisers, I don't mean a Business Manager. No, I still sign my own checks, check my own bills and dole myself out my own pocket money. But I do go to people who know better than I where to invest, how to invest, where to shop, what make of car is tops, and so on. Just as I have five or six writers who supply my material for the air for me—" (but they tell me, Bob sees the stuff, brightens it up, edits it, as no other performer does, or can do) — "I turn over to specialists the jobs in which they, not I, specialize. "Fear is, I'd say, the greatest single contributing factor to being Funlorn. To be afraid of anything would de-fun Falstaff. Only thing in this world I'm afraid of is —losing my health. Give me my health and I'll start over again, anywhere, any time. My health is the only thing I watch. And that's one thing I DO watch. I watch my food, keep my stomach in very good condition, smoke very moderately, drink very 92 SCREENLAND