Screenland (Jan–Jun 1948)

To celebrate they went to the Beachcombers for dinner. Elizabeth was on a special diet, but tonight was a very special occasion. The highly seasoned tropical foods couldn't possibly hurt — just this once. They sat for hours, eating, laughing, talking about the house. Never had their world seemed so rosy and cosy. Back in their apartment at four in the morning, Dan heard Elizabeth stirring about. "What is it, Liz — anything wrong?" He was already turning over on the other side. "No-o, I don't think so," Elizabeth answered quietly. "It's just that — well, I guess maybe I shouldn't have eaten so much. I sort of have pains!" At nine-thirty that same morning, Dan was still wearing down the wood in the father's waiting room at St. Vincent's Hospital. If he had anything to do he might as well do it, advised Dr. Rooney and Dr. O'Neill. Elizabeth was fine, they were standing by, it would probably still be hours. They'd call him — when. The word of a Rooney or an O'Neill was all that a Dailey needed. Dan, looking as punchy as he felt, went to the studio where the entire company had ganged up on him. Fortunately Dan had to hoof, which he could do in his sleep in case he fell asleep. As he took his place for the scene, the gags started. First they played a record. The lyrics were specially written by musician Dick Winslow, sung by Dick, Kenny Williams, Barney Elmore, Les Clark, who are also in the cast. The words — at least, the printable ones, went something like this: To the tune of "There'll Be Some Changes Made": "There'll be a change in the weather, A change in your plans, And at the Dailey house there's going to be two Dans. You'll pin his diapers with your big fat hands, There'll be a change in plans, There'll be some changes made." To the tune of "My Wild Irish Rose": "Like all Irish shmoes, He'll probably have your nose, You may look everywhere, But none will compare With that wild Irish nose!" Dan fell flat on his face! There was a "baby pool" which Dick Winslow eventually won. Director Lloyd Bacon, who was just as excited as the expectant father, kept calling him "Dancing Daddy." They never let up, joking, kidding — demonstrating their fondness and affection. Dan's enthusiastic appreciation only added to the merriment. By noon they were a day ahead in their shooting schedule. Expecting to be called away any second, Dan was perfect on the first take of every scene. Yes, the production department loves him! At one o'clock Dan was called to the phone. A few minutes later he came back on the set. He looked about as excited as a man who had just received a weather report. He stared at one person, then another. Finally he found his voice and addressed himself to the space in front of him. "I have a son," he said — and sat down. There followed the slowest "take" . in history. Dan sent out for refreshments. Still he said nothing. They all kept watching his fact; then suddenly, as the full realization that he was a father swept over him, Dan's Irish pan almost cracked itself wide open. He couldn't remember how much the baby weighed — or had he asked? Was it blond or brunette — or did they tell him? These and other thoughts kept racing through his mind. The new father just kept on grinning. He had one more scene where he sang "You Were Meant for Me," and then he was free to race to the hospital. Naturally Dan wanted to get it over in a hurry. First there was one delay, then another. Now at the panic point, daddy Dan began looking around for a machine gun. Finally they pulled their last and final gag. A messenger arrived from the Music Department with a record. They put it on and the entire company joined in the chorus of "Pretty Baby." Lying there, Elizabeth could only see Dan's feet behind the huge bouquet of flowers he carried in front of him. And even they still looked out of focus. "What kind of a baby is it?" she whispered as Dan bent over her. "I wouldn't let them tell me. I wanted to hear it from you." Dan swallowed a couple of baseballs. After he was sure Elizabeth was safe, the nurse led him down the hallway and stood him before the "looking" window. On the other side she held up eight pounds and two ounces of future president. Back in her room with Elizabeth again, Dan could only describe his son as giving him a "funny feeling." "But I haven't even seen him yet," pleaded Elizabeth. "The nurse said I should just look at your picture. You must have had some impression, Dan. Does he look like you?" Dear daddy timed his answer. "Well," he finally said with a grin, "I believe I have seen that face with a hangoverstaring back at me in a mirror!" Dan went back to the looking window three times and "checked" the baby, before he left the hospital. Then he drove home — wearing his coat inside out! He slept for ten hours and probably would have knocked off another ten if his phone hadn't rung. It was Louis Shurr, the agent Dan's been with over twenty years. Aside from his business reputation, Louie's quite a character in Hollywood. His friends call him the "good doctor." No one has ever caught him out with the same beautiful girl twice — and he's out every night! "Just heard you had a little girl," beamed Louie. "How wonderful! Congratulations, Dan. Just think, in seventeen years I'll be able to take her out!" "But, Louie," Dan interrupted, "I'm sorry to have to ask you to break that date. My daughter's a son — that is, I had a boy." "Okay," sighed Louie. "So I've got a new client. I'll send the contract right over and you can sign it as his legal guardian." Louie followed through on the gag. Dan received the contract made out in little DanTs name. 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