Screenland (Sept 1922–Feb 1923)

Holly-wood. SCREENLAND ats the MATTER with y STORY? c HAYSEED ITCH By J. D., San Pierre, Ind. >ANDIDLY now, do you think you would risk a dime J| « a picture bearing such a tit le. Win aspiring scenarists never learn the ^rr^ning £ decidedly weak. Suspense "is lacking and the heavy task of providing such as there is falls entirdyV Joe." The other characters would material!) S*t^Segotothefr to rest on doctor's orders, not disclosing die fact that she is a screen star until the end, careful throughout to Z% her true identity hidden irom the others? You see, actresses are ol en misunderstood in the country ; besides, she is there to completely forget the studio for the time being. Tod comes to the farm by coincide-e. Thus, the love interest rises naturally and the plot isn't given away m toe frst scene. And, too. wouldnt it be Sre artistic for Joe to feel sudden Smorse for the havoc he has created, and disappear? The foregoing is sug gested merely to give you an idea as to how plots should be .funded out Your scenario has possibilities but no market value in its present form. Rework it thoroughly and try for better results. ROYALTY AND A PRICE By G. W., San Diego, Calif. WHAT could have made you think vour storv had a chance in its present Lm? You would like to receive the check and leave the story-making to the artists and director Itisn t done Where are the details? Your story runs an inconsistent path and is scathed all over the place like a broken Cg\Vhv attempt. to write about a country and race of which you obviously have no knowledge? For example after going to much pain to describe how terribly conventional and alooi is Count Milo, you then proceed to have him "dance for the amusement of the crowd '." Fancy a European ot M;y Maiden Effort My maiden effort was ■ W/W young for it was made when the ^s were DU a few years old. Nor was it with artistic LpeVbut for a pictorially selfish pur P°Back in 1910 I had two little boys whose babyhood I wished to perpetuate JSS So I wrote them into a story called The Artists Sons. Colonel Sehg Wffht the classic and Frank aoggs— poof Frank Boggs, whose MM career was cut short by an msanc JajajVI* orarHener— shot the reel. It was re SSS-far wo »hok weeks »« ind the elemental technic ol_ """J «™S selveslt the threshold of this greatest of thlf ?' story The Artist's Sons will neveSr plafeTs author among the^mmortals but as an heirloom he values among his dearest possessions. ROB WAGNER. Screen writer and author of motion picture fiction and articles. royal blood cutting such capers. Divorce is not observed in Italy. Before making another attempt at scenario writing, it would be well if vou studied the technique ot plot construction. Also, write on subjects near to home. HIS INNING By L. J., New York City. TOO much so! That's the chief drawback— he wins all the way through. Why not have Keith Gordon's play a dismal failure instead ot a roaring success? The plot is entirely too conventional — another trouble, you've seen it too often yourself. Dig for something new, original, 1923 stuff There isn't a new situation in His Inning and no suspense Another thing, it is absurd that Keith can t tell Audrey that the French actress wishes to introduce him to managers. Un the other hand, your characters are well drawn. THE PRIMROSE PATH By Miss B. P., Fort Wayne. Ind. We have searched your manuscript several times without being able to find the connection between the plot and the title. At last we decided that there simply wasn't any. Even it there was it is so old and time-worn that a crutch wouldn't support it again. There is no hope for this scenario. The plot has fringe around it and the storv is one of the thinnest we have vet read. There is no suspense, because every one knows what will occur next : no novel situations ; love interest that is so superficial it is merely a veneer. The heroine starts out with a flourish, bloodthirsty and full ot pep, then completely collapses in the most absurd sort ot manner You give no motive for the murder 01 Gray and lovely Rosamund must be an awful dud to remain in the employ ot persons who so ill-treat her. Besides^ such a character should be of Latin origin if she is to go on the rampage and declare a vendetta. You surely do not utterly lack a knowledge of human beings.