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and feel the way they do because of luck, fate, background, breeding, environment, or call it what you may. There is still a reason why each of us fits into his own particular pattern. And because of this rea.son, we are either loved or loathed, tolerated or tormented, circumstances depending.
: There's my own personal experience, for example. As far back as I can remember, I was always ridden by a terrific nostalgia for Europe: not because Hollywood is the place it is, but because of the people you ofttimes meet here, many who feel just as out of place as you do. It took me years to overcome that sudden longing to escape from it.
Nostalgia can be the most harrowing experience of all. Maybe you go to a party, a woman walks by. Suddenly her perfume catches you, or it may be a man smoking a Turkish cigarette. Sights, sounds, odors, sudden memory of a face or place — all come sweeping back. In a split second you can be rendered physically ill, or transported into near ecstasy. As a result, may I hastily add, you are often regarded as being quite an odd fellow!
Speaking of Hollywood parties, I vividly recall my first one. I was new, unknown, of friends and dollars I had precious few. So naturally when a chance acquaintance invited me to this party, I was eager to go. I found myself surrounded by the most famous faces in the world. I listened to their conversation and watched their behavior.
Here I was at long last — in HoUywood! Here I was, actually mingling with the great stars, living the moment I had thought about and dreamed about. And then, for the first time in my life, I became aware that salaries and people's standing at the box-office actually had something to do with people — and nothing to do with human qualities. I wasn't a part of Hollywood then, as I am now. So it made me more shy than I was to begin with. At (Please turn to page 65)
Ray with Janis Carter in "A Woman Of Distinction," the film he made for Columbia.
Ray falls under the spell of Hedy Lamarr in his latest Paramount film, "Copper Canyon."
Another scene with Ray and Hedy. Says Ray, "I have learned how to live with myself."