Screenland (Nov 1949-Oct 1950)

Genial Charles Coburn with a shapely dancing instructress during rehearsals for the hilarious Country Club Square Dance sequence in U-I's "Louisa." several months and then, abruptly, the boy stops telephoning or asking for dates. In that case, I should think a girl should remain away from the dial, no matter how great the temptation. Of course, nine times out of ten, the reason for the boy's absence is that he is interested in another girl. If this is the case, and his ex-girl friend knows il, she should accept the fact and go on to new interests. Here is another law of nature: during the teens, boys and girls are experimenting with human combinations. Everyone is building personality, character and experience. It is essential that, in school particularly, a boy and a girl get to know as many different individuals as possible. I do not believe in high school people "going steady" for this reason. Don't tell me that you get world-shattering crushes on people, and can't go on without wearing a gold football around your neck, or seeing one another every night. I know. I went through it, too, and not long ago. I still remember going steady for seven months .... and sitting at home without dates for four months because the boy had gone on to anotlier girl, and yet boys wouldn't ask me for dates becau.se I was "pinned." I thouglit I was dying of a broken heart. I know now that hearts don't break — at least not until after one is twenty. Now — about gifts. I try to be as modern as tomorrow, but I still think the old Emily Post rules are right. I don't think a girl .should ever give or accept a present costing more than five dollars until after she has married the boy in the ca.se. There are a number of rea.sons: first of all, a teenager usually has to work pretty hard for his or her .spending money, or the teenager's parents do. It is foolish or unfair to invest a large sum in a person whose picture you may not recognize in five years. I remember one' indicative incident from my own history. One of my best girl friends was a fabulou.sly generous person from a wealthy family. In the 56 days when I was flush if I had seventynine cents in my purse, she was getting an allowance of ten dollars a week. One Spring she remembered her beau's birthday by giving him a watch. It was a dazzling affair and must have cost a huge sum. Shortly afterward they broke up. She indicated the reason to me: "He seemed to think that I liked him . . well, too much. He expected me to show it far more than I could and keep my selfrespect, so we broke up." A year or two later she married a wonderful boy and they were completely happy — except for one slight flaw. I was Christmas shopping with her one season, and she said she didn't know what to buy for Don, her husband, for Christmas. I suggested a really beautiful watch because I had noticed that his timepiece was the same one he had worn in high school. She shook her head. It seems that they had been out on a double date with Bud, the old boy friend, and his new gal one night, and Bud had shown Don the watch, saying, "Your wife thought a lot of me in those days." She ended by saying regretfully, "I've wanted to buy Don a watch dozens of times, but he has a complex about it. He always says he'll pick up something that he can bang around because he is so hard on watches, but I know he doesn't want to be put in the same class, sort of, with that heel. Bud." I think this story illustrates another point which I wish to make. Many girls have also written to ask how far I think a girl should go to be popular with boys. Well, I think that — after a third or fourth date — a goodnight kiss is a pleasant way to thank a boy for a happy evening, and there I think demonstrations of affection should end. No girl should ever do anything which she would be ashamed to tell her husband about, after they are married. I have saved until the last the few comments I think should be made about a girl and her girl friends. It is true that in a happy marriage a girl's best friend is her husband, but it is also true that there are vast differences between a man's world and the world in which a woman's life is spent. If a girl keeps house and has children, it is pleasant to discuss recipes, formulas and child psychology with another young mother. If a girl seeks a career, it is stimulating to exchange professional gab and gossip with a trusted colleague. Throughout life, one of the most valuable assets a girl can have is a worthwhile circle of female friends, and the time to collect them is during high school and college days. However, to make friends with the prettiest or the most popular or the wealthiest girl in school, simply because she is pretty or popular or wealthy strikes me as being shabby, superficial and just plain foolish. Friendship, to be the full and satisfactory thing it can be, must be based upon equality. I don't mean financial or social equality, but equality in mental, emotional and ethical approach to the business of life. If you are honest, you can't be friends with a thief. If you are naturally cheerful and progressive, you won't be able to endure a pessimistic hang-backer. If you are hard-working and sincere, you won't be able to get along with a sluggard. I suppose it all comes to this: the answer to the question "How Far S'^ould A Girl Go To Get What She Wants Out Of Life" is simple. She must go all the way down the rough, difficult road to acceptance of herself and understanding of what is best for her, and to the understanding of the nature of other human beings. P.S. It isn't easy, but then worthwhile accomplishment seldom is. One Surprise After Another Continued from page 26 laughter at his discomfiture on the rotating stool, the film test was obviously a success, for Sam Goldwyn inked his signature on Dana's first contract. Dana and Mary, who had been sweethearts for a long time, looked on this new contract as the break for which they had been waiting. Then along came Mr. Unexpected. "You'd better forget about getting married for awhile," a studio executive advised. "You're a handsome young actor trying to establish yourself in a tough game. You need lots of publicity. Start being seen around the night spots with name actresses. It's what you need." But Dana discovered that, career or no career, he didn't want to spend time with any girl but Mary. Nearly a year went by before the subject of his marriage came up again, and it was Dana who brought it up. He and Mary felt they had waited long enough. Dana prepare d — and memorized — a speech that said, eloquently, everything he wanted to say. Importantly, he made an appointment