Screenland Plus TV-Land (Nov 1952 - Oct 1953)

"Barring the bride and groom, of course!" "I still think that it sounds too easy," I demurred. "Sounds like one quick jump from a cocktail party to the altar. When she met the Right Guy, how did she convince him that she was the Right Girl? The plot at that point intrigues me; supposing she doesn't dazzle, bewitch, or even bother him at first glance?" "There are three things," Roz continued, lifting her hands and counting off on her fingers. "Beauty isn't necessary— you only have to walk down the street to notice how many plain women have got themselves attached to handsome or distinguished husbands. So what's the answer? Either you must have money, or fame, or — " she paused and lifted her eyebrows, "What's left? What is it that a woman must have if she hasn't anything else, and is the most important thing, no matter what else she has? Charm," said Roz, her eyes lighting up. "A woman must have charm; it's her most powerful weapon. That's what gets a man!" "But we don't always know exactly what is meant by the word charm." "It's consideration for others, basically. Here's an example: last night I went to a party for Mary Martin, and when I arrived, the place was crowded. On the far side of the room I saw a woman rise and come toward me; it was Jean Dixon, 64 the veteran actress, and a superb one. She had got up and crossed that room to tell me how delighted she was that I was finally coming to the stage — 'I've waited for this for a long time!' she said, 'And I just had to come and tell you!' " "Well, that just got me," Roz said. "She made me feel wonderful. I went around glowing like a flashlight all the rest of the evening. She made the effort to walk across the room to say something very nice to me — that's charm! "And I remember the host of another party who came out in a snowstorm to see us to our car instead of saying goodnight at the door. It wasn't necessary to do so, and he made us feel very special. That's what you call being a charming host! "Being a good listener is a quality of charm. One hears that constantly, yet few people actually listen and appear interested in what the other person is saying. Men love to talk about themselves, and wise women know that, and give them the opportunity to do so. "The charming woman thinks of what the other person wants to do. When the man who is taking her out to dinner asks where she'd like to go, she's smart to find out where he'd like to go, and then, when he makes a suggestion, she falls in with his wishes and desires — and likes it. If she's bored, and doesn't appear to be enjoying herself at the place he has chosen, it's quite likely that the next time he'll take someone else who appreciates his efforts, and creates the impression that they share the same likes and dislikes. No man in his right mind is going to choose a woman for a lifetime companion with whom he can anticipate a tug of war every time they go out for an evening. If she goes into a sulk every time she isn't taken to the Stork Club, she's killing her chances of being taken anywhere by that particular man for very long. If being at the Stork Club is more important to her than being with him, that's an answer in itself, he's not the right man for her." "That brings up another point," I said. "Let's assume that a girl has charm, or the ability to make herself charming. She's met the Right Guy, the charm has worked, and they're married. Since, obviously, you believe that the girl in the case guides and controls the courtship, it might follow that the success of a marriage as well largely depends upon the woman. Do you believe that, Roz?" "Yes, I do. Marriage is a career, as I said before, and should be approached and prepared for like any other career. Girls give time, energy, and study in learning how to become secretaries, dieticians, fashion stylists, and whatnot, knowing that they couldn't possibly step into positions without doing so, yet they expect to jump willy-nilly into marriage without the faintest idea of how they're going to carry out the job of being a wife and homemaker." I thought vaguely of courses in how to keep spinach fresh and frilly, and how to cut down Early American highboys into late American lowboys. "How would one say a girl should prepare for marriage?" "By studying her subject — the man she's going to marry — learning all about his tastes and interests and inclinations, his disposition — that's very important — his idiosyncracies. She should see him under all kinds of situations, so that she knows what he's like at his very worst as well as his best. She should take her time — not leap into marriage without knowing exactly what she's facing. I took my time — I wanted to be sure. And I'm more in love with my husband now than I was when I married him eleven years ago. He has a sweet disposition, and that word 'sweet' may sound peculiar when applied to a man, but that's exactly what he is. And he's the most considerate person in the world; that consideration for the other person that we've been speaking of is a very important factor in marriage. The husband who crawls home in a completely bushed state after a harrowing day at the office, followed by a ride in a crowded commuter's train, only to be greeted by a wife who just can't wait to pour out her grievances about the broken down washing machine, or the misbehaving furnace, must be something more than human to refrain from asking himself why he didn't stick to bachelorhood and a dog which could be counted upon to greet him with a joyously wagging tail. "People who work together are fortunate in that they have mutual understanding of the problems, wear, and tear