Showmen's Trade Review (Jul-Sep 1940)

Page 8 SHOWMEN'S TRADE REVIEW August 2, 1940 Mr. Williams Goes to Washington T N theory this is a one act epic dealing with a country boy's adventure on a trip to Washington ; sorter an off-colortone travelogue, not approved by the Brecn office. But, in fact, anything can happen, and probably will, as, like producers, I reserve the right to deviate as to subject, star and supports. Since I hadn't been to Washington except for a couple of sight seeing flings with the kids since the marines sent me to their finishing school in Quantico (and dern near finished me) I desided I'd go up and get a first hand glimpse of the master trough where the best blooded pohticians feed. Never before had I been up as an exhibitor to "beg a boon" of Congress in person, though I have been in the business so long I can remember when we used to call Ed Kuykendall "Slim." Upon arrival I had an experience that has no business being recited in a dignified essay of this kind, so I'll include it — by request, I may add. Some of you who were in Wash.ington have heard it, but don't stop me, I want to hear it again myself. I went to the hotel about 6 A. M. direct from the Pullman, and with practically no sartorial preparation, unkempt, unshaven, perhaps seedy — well positively seedy if you're a stickler for detail. I requested a $5.00 room from Little Lord Fauntleroy behind the desk for whom I had already worked up a keen dislike. Dern a man who wears a cutaway and morning stripes at this pajama hour. I was promptly informed that they had nothing but a $7.00 room, just like the new selling season was on. "I hope it's worth it" I remarked, as I acquiesced with dignity and without argument, but don't tell any film salesmen. No Water I went up, disrobed the carcass, jumped under the shower, turned on the faucet — no water. I went to the lavatory, repeated the process with the same results — no water. Even the chair covered Johnny was as dry as a hano'-over palate. I asked the operator to connect me with L. L. Fauntleroy on the desk, "Neighbor," sez I, "I just checked into this seven buck room, but neglected to inquire if it had running water. I'll be glad to go SOc. more for a room without a dehydrated privy, if you have such in this inn." "What do you mean Sir — have you turned on the faucets?" He inquired with a combination of anguish and anger. "Now brother, we've had faucets in our house as long as I can remember and I really know how to turn them on, but nothing happens when I do, It's the 22nd of the month and maybe you ain't paid your water bill or something. Could you send me up a bowl and pitcher and slop jar, or tell me if there's a working bath at the end of the hall, or something ?" "Sir, this is a fine hotel and we have no hall baths, or other country town symbols" sez he. "Well, sir, maybe you're missing something" siz I. "In Thomasville we have a hotel with running water, hot and cold, in every room and though the John ain't camouflaged like a baby's training chair, maybe on account of we're all trained, but it works." "I'll send up an engineer" he snapped, as he hung up. The engineer was calling for the head plumber when I left — dirty on both sides — for the capitol. I told him if he couldn't get it fixed by sundown to send out and get me a couple of buckets of water. At the Capitol I was first amazed to find a sizeable committee of Congressmen more concerned with whether or not I bought two pictures at a time, or got a true synopsis with them, than they were with the fact that their new and old tax measures were milking the bank accounts and pockets of me and my patrons as dry as an old maid's breast. By NAT WILLIAMS Thomasville, foa., txhibitor I started listenmg to the questions asked the witnesses by the Congressman, trying to pick up their chain of ttiought and figure out an argument for them. JBut i found their questions and thoughts ran off at so many tangents and angles, i was in a dilemma, i didn t know where to pick up, like the little boy who dropped his chewing gun m the henhouse, about all I could surmise was that the proponents ot the bill and a sizeable following of well-meaning, but misled Congressmen had an acute desire to gum up this business with a lot of trick regulations and obsolete ideas that would be as out of place in modern theatre operations as would be a blue iron bed in Mae West's boudoir. Finally, after a three day wait, and with some excellent assistance from Claude Lee, Vvillis Davis and Ed Kuykendall, I was called and delivered a flaming two minute protest. Maybe they used me tor contrast to the glamor boys on the program which included Mack Jackson, Oscar Lam and Don Ameche. The committee probably would have adjourned then and reported the bill favorably, except maybe that would have involved their going back to the Capitol and they wanted and rated the afternoon off. There's Still Fertile Ground Seriously, I guess the Neely Bill in its present iorm is dead, but plenty of seed and fertile ground for the quick sprouting of its successor remain in Washington. Jr'ictures are beginning to be looked upon as a form of public utility-, which means that we may expect more euorts trom more sources to bring in various forms ot supervision and dictation of our business. Probably' that's the price of popularity with the masses. Perhaps we're lucky to have come as far as we have with as little interference as we've had. Certainly we're more fortunate than the railroads, electric utilities, telephone companies, etc. in this respect and our product is as widely used as some of theirs. Don't misunderstand me — I'm not advocating any dictation by anyone, but I'm surprised we haven't had more already and I believe we should be more careful than ever to keep our houses popular and in the good graces of civic clubs, church groups, political bodies as well as individuals. If some representative club or religious body complains about a picture or a policy, conform to their request if it's at all possible, regardless of how much you may disagree with their arguments. Lots of the most valuable support on the Neely Bill came from clubs that exhibitors should have befriended instead of laughed at. Remember that Congressmen and Senators consider letters from those clubs about 100 times as weighty as a letter from you as they probably know that you don't even control your wife's vote, much less your operator's, and maybe you aren't even registered yourself. Don't run product that will offend these people, cooperate with them on their promotions, even at the expense of a few cash customers. I think a smart idea for the producers would be to hire some woman preferably selected by some national federation of Women's Clubs, or some other representative (Note: A few weeks ago at the SETOA Convention in Jacksonville, this address, — if you want to call it that, — met with such enthusiastic approval, both for its humorous touches as well as its constructiveness, that many of the exhibitors present asked us if we would please publish it. We sincerely hope those who read it will get the same kick out of it as did those who heard it in person.) "Chick." and respected organization or national scope,j to go to Hollywood and sit opposite Joe Breeii and have a voice in his selections and rejec-' tions. This is no criticism of Breen's office. He's doing a swell job of removing dirt and leaving life in pictures. But the woman, if handled right, would probably "go Hollywood" in a couple of weeks and insist that Breen open the valve wider than he does. Then we'd have a pretty good answer when the DAR or some other group started jumping on our million dollar epic with a couple of million dollars worth of adverse publicity. We would only have to agree with them that the picture stinks and the lady of their selection shouldn't have let it get by in the first place. Too, she could let out a national rave or two when one of these culture dispensers comes along and maybe we could collect film rental out of it, which isn't always the case now. Defense Tax Popular Speaking further of Government and taxa-' tion, which seem to be as inseparable as a; new season and price raises, the new defense tax seems to have split exhibitors into three' fronts, just as Hitler did his opponents ini Flanders. We'll probably have as much luck as did the Allies. There are those who hav maintained their price scales and added the tax and want Congress to cut the exemption figure to one cent, in order to get even with the second class, who have cut their established scales of years standing in order to dodge the tax and maybe burn their competition. The third class is composed of those who have let their scales stand, have added the tax and are against any reduction in the exemption figure. I belong to this latter class. Though I have no hopes of changing the mind of any one of you, I have the floor now, and it's my privilege to start an argument. First, the tax is popular. People seem to like the idea of buying a battleship on installments of two or three cents at a time. In the 20 days that we've collected it, we've had only 7 kicks in all our houses and 5 came from passholders. Adults are paying the tax willingly and the increase isn't hurting our business. But to put the tax on negro and child tickets will cut into the gross materially. They don't have the extra pennies. And I don't think that certain sections of MPTOA and others are being very thoughful when they are advocating cutting the exemptions just to take care of some unfair competition in a few suburban parts when their remedy will leave a detrimentalj effect on the majority of us. But I don't think they are being any more unfair than the ex-| hibitor who has cut to 20c. in a situation! where the price has been 25 or 30c. for years.j No Flag Waver I'm not one of these flag waving patriots who gets goose pimples when he hears "God! Bless America." I used to be, but the Prussian Guards shot that out of me within 10 minutes after I reached them in 1918. But I still wouldn't swap this country, new deal! and all, for any other I'm familiar with, andi I'm rather proud of the amount of defense tax we're collecting. You who have cut toi 20c. are causing all the agitation to reduce, the exemption to one cent and I think you'rq kidding yourselves. Even if you have increased your gross a little, you still picked a bad time to make more money as the government has raised the income tax for the average exhibitor bracket about 300 per cent, come March, so you're still in about the same position as a country dog in town, which isn't a very lovely thought to leave you with, but I've already squandered too much of you time with my half-baked ideas. Thanks for the use of the hall.