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THE ADULT AND THE CINEMA
( i ) Yes The Lady in the Dark, not so much of the dreaming part, but how she always was a second fiddle when a young girl.
It reminded me so much of myself. The way Johnny (I think that was his name) was dancing with Ginger Rogers telling her how lovely she was, telling her she was the kindest girl he'd ever met, and then he said she was a better girl than his other girl friend.
Then his other girl friend came in just said she was sorry for something and he went out to dance with her leaving Ginger Rogers outside on the terrace without saying a word.
I turned away at that just to remember myself being in the same position as Ginger Rogers, several times before I saw that picture. Only of course my own friend being the girl who came in every time to spoil anything I ever thought I had.
I've often wondered whats wrong with me, and thought how I should like to see myself as others see me, so I could know what was wrong, and then check up on the things that are wrong, and so become a little more confidant in myself.
So now I have decided after seeing that film, to do the same as Ginger Rogers (or Liza Elliott as she was called in the picture) did, go about being kind to people, not to take things too seriously, and not to have any fancy clothes, just to be smart and plain as she was, to see if that will help me at all. Many people like me, boys like me for a friend but that isn't love.
In the end of Lady in the Dark three men loved her, but I havn't got to the end yet, thats to come.
(2) Yes I have Rebecca was the film, I dreamt I was going through the gates Joan Fontaine went through in her dream in the beginning of the film, up the drive to Mandaley.
Afterwards I should be by the sea in my dream, near Mandaley (Manderley), watching the waves dash up against the rocks.
Then I should feel giddy and fall over the edge of the rocks, having the sensation of falling I woke up never reaching the bottom. I've had the same dream twice, and I don't know how long they last, but thats all I dream about Rebecca, if they last half an hour.
The Purple Heart I've dreamed about too, but that's just because its horrible and it played on my mind all night till I dreamed about it.
Just the same things happen though, were (where) they cut off one man's hand, and cut another man's tongue out, and all the rest of the horrible business.
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