Sponsor (Jan-Apr 1957)

\p "No, Mill. We're going after this one in person. Mohammed ia going to the mountain !" It turned out in he «|tiite a inounlain. as the mountains ol western >< Mil h Carolina go. Miltown Cummings and Presswell Gunn, eyes reddened from hours ol hard driving and berets bespecked nv i i 1 i road tar, strained forward on the chinchilla seat as their Thunderbird labored up a nearlj perpendicular logging trail. "I think we've wandered onto a motorcycle hill-climb," Mill grumbled. '"We're okay," Pres said. ""I iliink I see smoke up ahead." Five harrowing minutes later, the Thunderbird groaned t<> a halt before a tin\. weatherbeaten cabin with paneless windows and paintless walls. Behind it. dangeroush canted by a sometime gale, stood a rough-hewn outhouse with a crescent in the door. "The) should straighten their isolation booth," said Milt. Pres regarded him dimly. He climbed stillh from the ear. "\o sijin oJ life," he remarked. " \nd there's no smoke coming from the chimney. It comes from \\a\ hack in the woods." "Halloooo, anybody home'.''"" Mill called. Pres Gunn felt a tug: at his leg just below the knee. \ -mall, grubby wood elf ahout 35 inches high with a shock of red hair and a face full of brown freckles stood grinning up at him. Not exactly a Madison \\enue type. '< Hi. no."' Pres said, "don't tell me this is Klaut van Dingle!" "Nope," -aid the elf. "Er, Klaut's brother.-"" Milt asked. "Mali name I 'it ne\ Joad. Live up the road a piece. Mfm four vears old. Klaut's onl) goin" on three." "Well, sonny, Milt said, "we're here to find Klaut. We're tv producers. Klaut sent us a letter." The boy nodded. "Ah know. \h mailed it. Ah'm Klaut's agent." "'We been driving in the sun too long with the top down!" Pres exclaimed. Milt stared at the sky for fully 30 seconds. "A two-and-a-half-year-old child prodigy with a four-year-old agent! You think vou could explain that lo Y&R?" Pres ' rouched dow n before the boj . "()ka\. Bonny, where Is your client?" Pitnej load waved a grubbj fisl in the direction of the smoke on the hoi i /on. "Over \omlah. tendin' hi pap py's -till. He'll be back directly." M ilt ( lumming held onto a tin of the Thunderbird. '"I can Bee it now.' he groaned. I • uiiv lit on The hiifi head Hour, now at his fifth plateau ami reaching for vl 19,000 is thai lovable two-and-a-half-year-old moonshine distillei from South Carolina "Heah come Klaut now." -aid Pitnej Joad. ( hit of the wood and into the cleat • ing came Klaut van Dingle. Behind him slunk a hound dog. tail between it legs. \n owl broke from a pine in panic llight. screeching with terror. A diamond-hack rattler in Klaut's path uncoiled itself and slithered off in search of cover. "Klaut. he's got natural ehahm.'" Pitnej boasted. "They'll love him in show biz." Klaut was small for his age. Hut what he lacked in size was compensated for in character. He wore nothing but a diaper and a scowl. "Who these jerks?" Klaut snarled. It was the first time Pres and Milt had ever heard a baby snarl. The\ exchanged glances, read thoughts: Could an audience love a child that snarls? '"The\ re tv producahs come to screen you, Klaut." Pitnev explained nervously. "Mill handle the details, just be your sweet, intelligent self." "Mind you get me a good contract.'" Klaut warned. Pitnej looked up at Pres and Milt. ""Notice how Klaut dominates a scene?" he said. "How that wahm personality shines through? Hell do great on camera." "Close-ups." Klaut snarled, that I get nothin" hut close-ups.' "Klaut."" Milt began, "we are sure you're a verj brilliant child. Put the first requisite for a good quiz contestant is — " "Headphones," -napped Klaut "" \h insist on headphones. Put it in the contract !" ""Hold on. Klaut." Milt -aid. " I here tnoi ontrai i • i \\ hal I started i" saj was thai the first requisite i a -■nt oi n i tnpatu o \ "U know what s» mpatu o?" Klaut -i rewed up his fa< e so thai Pres and Milt were forced to turn away. He leaped up ami down in a temper laninim. He held hi breath until he began to turn blue. "Gol it. lie finallj -In illed. "Sj tnpal ico, D Sj bil Sj mpatico, « onsorl of Oiln i< I he Putrid, Duke ,,i Slatkavia, 1066L093." " K. I.i ii i gol a photographs mind." Pitnev -aid. "Klaut," Pres broke in hopefully, "do you like othei little children?" Hate "em." Klaut -nailed. *'W ell. \ ou're kind to little puppj dogs, aren't you ?" I'm asked. For answei . Klaut aimed a ki< k at the hound, missed, and -aid. "Hill." I'hen he hiccoughed loudly. "Klaut s been samplin' hi pappy's ma-h -ipieezin's again." Pitnej apologized. Pres Gunn climbed slowrj back into the Thunderbird. Milt followed. "Your discovery, I'm-!" -aid Milt. "Two-year-old-geniu-. hate dogs and people, swears, assists at hi pappj -till and wa weaned on bourbon. How he'd go to the heart of a nation!' "Get in and -hut up." Pre -napped. He started the motOl . "So we had an outing," said Milt. "I.il open another can of pea-. We don't have t" depend on <pii//e-. There must he another trend we can ride." ""I gol it ! Milt -aid. "W esterns!" "I'm reading j on. Milt, boj ! Mature W esterns!" Milt paused, oven "me bj hi own idea. "Cowboys 55 years and older. Sophisticates riding tin range. >il\erthatched marshals. . ." "^ ippee, it'll he an I zio Pin/a re\ i\ al w ith gunsmoke!" I he i ai was moving slowly. Out of the corner of hi eye, Pre noticed Pitnej Joad loping alongside. "Heard what yon -aid. mi-tali. Pitnej panted. "Gol just the type you need. Klaut uncle . . ." "Shove "IT. kid." Milt yelled. "No more van Dingles ! Pre trod hard on the gas and the Thunderbird rocketed downhill. ^ SPONSOR 30 MARCH I'll,