Sponsor (Jan-Apr 1958)

the subpoena server who called on you? witness: Sir, I did not bite his nose. I simply gritted my teeth in rage and he stood too near to me. committee's counsel: {Leaping up) Mr. Chairman! Point of order, Mr. Chairman! We are straying far afield. We can't spend all day on this FCC case. Let's just ask the commissioner for his resignation and then get onto that ICC thing. CHAIRMAN: (Livid) Sit down and shut up, Mr. Counsellor! And if you ever get between me and the tv camera again, you'll learn why we've had such a big turnover in Committee attorneys. [Beams at the Zoomar the leer that gets him better than 1,800 fan letters a day.) Now let's get back to our witness. Mr. McTeagirt, how did you come to know the manager of WEAK? WITNESS: I was buying the other station in his market. It's the best way to get to know station operators. chairman: Why didn't you buy his station? witness: Because — and this may get very technical — the WEAK transmitter is built against the side of a mountain. Our account, the Chopped Chicken Liver Chocok'tc Loaf Co., is interested in the market on the other side of the mountain. WEAK couldn't get over the hill. chairman: The market you are referring to is Powderhorn Hollow, Kentucky— ? witness: That's right. It's the 490th ranking metro market in the U.S. chairman: And what took you there last April? witness: I was on a field trip for the agency. chairman: And did you pay for your own hotel rooms. ... I beg your pardon, Mr. McTeagirt. I forgot for a moment that you're a witness and not the defendant. Let it be struck from the record. And while you were in Powderhorn Hollow, you called on the owner of WEAK? witness: Yes. I explained what I had already told his rep. That our agency needed the other side of the hill. chairman: And he told you what? witness: He said that four-and-a-half feet more on his antenna would do it. chairman: Was anyone else present at this meeting. WITNESS: Yes, sir. (Points to the defendant. ) FCC Commissioner Threedle was there. threedle: (Trembling so hard his chains rattle.) It's a smear! CHAIRMAN: (Turning on Threedle.) If you distract the camera crews from me once more, I'll demand your resignation! (Addresses McTeagirt again.) Did the Commissioner mention how he came to be in Powderhorn Hollow? witness: Yes, sir. He was in a sports car rally outside Washington and got lost. He'd wandered far off course, arrived by way of the Alcan Highway. chairman : Did he mention how much this cost the Federal government in gas and oil? witness: He said something about '"somebody would pay for this." Could he have meant the taxpayers? chairman: It's possible. Now what did Threedle have to say to the WEAK tower problem? witness : He said it could be fixed. chairman: Aha! He definitely used the word "fix" — eh? THREEDLE: (Shrilly, with chains a jangle.) You're leading the witness! If I said it could be "fixed" I only meant the tower could be made a little higher. It was simply a gesture of friendship. chairman: Threedle, you're hogging the cameras again! THREEDLE: (On his feet, chains and all.) But you're crucifying me for a lousy four-and-a-half feet of radio tower ! chairman: Threedle, to speed up this hearing, why don't you just resign? threedle: (Huffily.) Okay, I quit. chairman: Tut, tut. We usually do it more gracefully than that. Like saying thank you to the Committee for its consideration and all that. THREEDLE: I quit, and that's that. I can always get a job with Uncle Ben. chairman: Uncle Ben, eh? And who's Uncle Ben? threedle : The owner of WEAK, that's who. ^ SPONSOR • 19 APRIL 1958 ffl^HHBHB HH^HBH