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Star-dust in Hollywood
of the ham-and-egg orgy. Then a lettered board was raised, and, with the conductor pointing to line after line with his stick, the massed and half-riotous realtors, go-getters, business and he-men of Los Angeles chanted vociferously the following rubric :
F, V, F, M [If we have ham] ;
O, S, V, F, M [Oh, yes, we have ham] ;
N, V, F, X [And we have eggs] ;
O, S, V, F, X [Oh, yes, we have eggs] ;
O, I, C, V, F, M, N, X [Oh, I see, we have ham and eggs] ;
while microphones on the table broadcast to the listening millions in the bungalow courts of Los Angeles and Hollywood, in the adobe houses of the desert, in the farm-houses of the irrigated valleys, in the hotels and mansions of Santa Barbara and Mount Carmel, even as far as San Francisco or Mexico the uncouth rejoicings of the modern makers of Los Angeles.
Jo had no right to be frivolous with Mr Fokker. She was but a guest of honour, he was the guest of honour. He had to stand before the microphone and * tell the world,' while Jo, with the other guests of honour, had merely to rise from her seat and bow as her name and title to renown was read aloud amid frantic but indiscriminate applause.
" Mr William H. Jones, owner of the famous Jones drugstores.' ' {Bow, Applause.)
" Mr Henry K. Williams, inventor of the famous Williams Tyre Patch.' ' (Bow. Applause?)
" Mrs Cora J. Gordon, famous European vagabond and authoress." (Bow. Applause.)
" Mr Joseph Breitenschwanz, proprietor of the famous Breiten abdominal belt." (Bow. Applause.) And so on.
The company then moved into a concert-hall, where a troupe of girl dancers waved their naked limbs about, thus bringing this whole grotesque gathering to a natural climax.
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