Swing (Jan-Dec 1945)

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30 St> landers who are amazed at us, our cities and customs and at Double or Nothing which may from time to time supply them with $100 in cash to buy stockings and perfumes and almost anything we have here in America — and which they usually don't have "back home" in little country towns on the other side of the globe. We love the talkers who usually do well until they get up to say something in front of that great beast . . . THE MICROPHONE. You folks who sit home and listen can usually answer all the questions, but in front of the microphone . . . it's quite a different thing. The average hero soldier, sailor or Marine will cringe January, J 94 J from it. A recent contestant, who had killed 367 Japs on the blood-red beach at Tarawa, wiped his forehead at the start of the quiz, looked at me, and said, "Anyone who gives this up for combat is a coward!" (P.S. He went on to collect the $100 with "no help from the audience, please.") Another time, a tall Texan be-decked with ribbons and medals "sweated the quiz out" and when he came up with the $100, bounced six feet into the air, shouting, and headed out the stage door for home . . . Goose Creek, Texas. rhat's all for now . . . but next time a word on an increasingly important subject to you . . . TELEVISION. GOURMET A man went to the bar and ordered a Martini, drank it, chewed up the bowl of the glass, and threw the stem over his shoulder. After having masticated six Martinis in this manner to which we are all too unaccustomed, he noticed that the bartender was staring at him. "I guess you think I'm crazy, don't you?" he asked. "I sure do," the bartender said. "The stems arc the best part!" CONSIDER THE BLUEBIRD There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. — Robert Louis Stevenson. John Barrymore once said that after looking around for it for years he had suddenly discovered that contentment is never found by hunting for it. Happiness just sneaks in through a door you didn't know had been left open. — From Rotary Felloe. BRIEF CASES A cub reporter ordered to be concise in his report of a musical entertainment covered the situation with one line: "An amateur quartet played Brahms last night; Brahms lost." A colored man was sentenced to be hanged. In desperation he wrote to his former employer, the Governor: "Dear Boss: They're a-fixin' to hang me on Friday, and here it is Tuesday." That cub reporter, again, covered the story of a fatal accident. "John K. Edwards looked up the shaft at the Union Hotel this morning to see if the elevator was on its way down. It was. Aged 4?."