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"Do You J4eali Me?"
Being a Pretty Ponderous Pandect on the Southland's Secession from the American Language
by "MOUSE" STRAIGHT
My maiden exposure to "talkin'' Suthahn" was the diction of a New Girl on the Campus back in college days. For a week or two, the slick chick cut quite a figure (particularly since she had quite a one). Then her green-eyed sisters trimmed her down to size . . . "Yeah, she's from the South, all right," they confided with all the reluctance of a housewife buying a pound of bacon — "South Wichital" The awful truth was that our heroine had picked up her palaver in a season at a Southern finishing school.
And there my comprehension of Confederate lingo languished until some ten months ago, when I moved to Memphis, Tennessee. Ever since, Suthahn Talk has pounded my ears thick and fast.
Since my former home had been Kansas City, I expected Southerners to classify me as neither Southern nor Northern . . . but as a sort of Creature from Limbo. But no! Anything north of the north Tennessee line is strictly damyankee. They were friendly and polite in classifying me — but firm as well.
My very first impression was that some time during the hated Recon
struction Era some unanimous impair
southern eardums. for one's hearing! each suggestion . . . is followed up with or "heah me?" or
ment attacked Such solicitude Each request . . each response . . "do yuh heah?' simply "heah?"
After the first shock, I found that the expression "wears well." Matter of fact, it's pretty cute.
And there's the matter of "youall . . ." I had long heard this expression among would-be southern mimics, but it failed to live up to its advance billings. Instead of "you all," in general Memphis practice, the expression is "y'all." The usual morning greeting is not "how are you all?" but simply, "how y'all?"
This brevity is not occasioned by disinclination toward small-talk. As a devastating and loquacious redhead explained to me, "We Suthahanahs don't run wuhds togethah because we don't like to tal\ . . . We'ah just savin' ouahselves so we can talk moah!"
And I'll hand it to 'em — these rebels are highly articulate! They say a southern girl of twelve can make a better speech than a damyankee boy