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cal desire. The first stage generally wears off — in some instances soon; in others, later. But it inevitably fades, and then follows the
(2) Period of Adjustment, so vital to every union. For every marriage fundamentally is the endeavor to blend two unlike personalities into one. Should this period of adjustment be a successful one, the marriage progresses into the stage of
(3) Companionship, understanding and tolerance. This is probably the most important step in the course of any marriage. The Fourth and final stage is reached when this companionship and tolerance have been welded into a harmonious medley of understanding. Then the husband and wife reach the level that I choose to call
(4) Ideal Marriage — the mature stage of matrimony, in which love, passion, and true friendiship arc so completely merged as to defy any line of demarcation..
Unfortunately, the romantic illu
in^ August, 1945
sions fostered by popular belief do not prepare the average husband and wife for such a course of events. Many of them actually expect the first flush of love to last indefinitely. But human nature makes that impossible. And there you have one great reason for divorce.
I have often been asked, "What are the most important ingredients for a happy, successful marriage?" To this, of course, I can only answer in generalities :
First, physical compatibility. That IS most important.
Next in importance I v;ould place the ability and the desire to compromise.
Money is only third in importance. However, I will say that much unhappiness results when a wife demands too much of her husband's earning capacity. A wife should not try to act as a spur to her husband — an inspiration, yes; but never a goad.
Fourth, I would say that it is vital that both husband and wife make a conscious effort to study marriage and find out exactly what makes it chck. For marriage is a concrete art — it must be learned.
Fifth, similar likes and dislikes and similar emotional reactions to these likes and dislikes.
Sixth, the ability to completely sever oneself from the mother or father fixation.
Seventh, physical fitness — the desire and "right" to raise a family.
Eighth, close scrutiny of social background and environment.
Ninth, tolerance in every possible direction, especially insofar as one's