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PARADISE enow!
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vicc'versa) are sometimes discouraged by frigid refusals because their approaches are too bald. So are their pates, many times. A library in the downtown snake pit should certainly help the situation. A smooth, "I notice you have 'Julius Caesar' in your hand," should get results. (Especially for J. C.) "Have you reached the place yet in the fourth act where Portia takes poison?" And you could follow up with, "How about a drink with me? Name your poison!"
Books in bars should also take care of querulous chaps who like to argue. If the subject is anything that facts could prove, they can always settle matters between the bookends instead of out in the alley. This, of course, is based on the assumption that the arguers can ,read. Let them adjourn to a corner where the written page could be consulted, and the altercation closed with a simple, "There it is in black and white, old boy!" Loser could always appeal to an earlier edition.
A literary chaser for every drink could completely change the American way. Give us more savoir faire, more subtlety, a richer vocabulary, more significant talking points than what happened at the office today and why not. Silly little girls who know nothing but clothes, men, and filing (and Lord knows why they need to know more) could enhance their gum beating with quotations from the Bard and Emersonian innuendoes; and names such as Heathcliffe, Maigret, Buddenbrooks, and Caitilin Ni Murrachu would roll
trippingly off the tongue. Think of the rise in the cultural level and the broadening of interests — as well as beams! The more you read, the wider the horizons, the more you drink, the more of 'em.
Also consider the convenience of having more things to throw in case of a brawl . . .. and the beauty of being under a table with Thorne Smith.
Liquor advertising, too, would shift its gears with a grind and a bump. The advent of books among bottles could result in something approaching literary history. Along the highways you might read: "Concentrate with Old Grand-Dad"; "Take Teacher's Highland Cream to Finnegan's Wake"; "Let Four Roses Help You Vv^ade Through Walden"; "Dixie Bell is best with Eddie A. Guest"". On the tables tucked in among the bistro book shelves you mightn't be surprised at such slogans as "'Waterfill Frazier with 'Measure for Measure' "; "Hadst thy Pabst today? What's choicer with Chaucer!"; "Fall into Vat 69 with George Sand"; "Two of our Texas Steers and you'll have no Remembrance of Things Past."
This country which for years has been throwing it down and tossing it up in its mad quest for excitement would do well to emulate the Cherry Tree Inn at Copthorne, Sussex. What we need is more bar libraries — (and we don't mean the kind where attorneys pore over case histories) — and more books of verses with our jugs of wine. Ah, Wilderness! Ah, dreams!