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68
October, 1946
MR. PORTER, PLEASE ... A business survey here indicates that the people are not saving as much money as they did a year ago. It seems that the citizenry is showing a deplorable tendency to deposit their earnings in grocery stores instead of banks.
EXCEPTIONALLY BRIGHT . . . A fella we know has sent on, more in sorrow than in anger, a letter received from his son Keith.
It reads:
"Dear Dad : I guess you will be surprised to hear that the University of Kansas has finally excepted me."
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STORY OF THE WEEK . . . (The following item is reprinted in its entirety from the Wilkes-Barre (Pa.) Record)
KANSAS CITY (AP)— A nurse entered the first floor surgery at St. Mary's Hospital and noticed a queer bulge on the operating table. She pulled back the sheet — and screamed.
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SOUTHERN BRAWL ... A lonesomelooking soldier, who said he was from Memphis, dropped in at the La Cantina room of the Bellerive hotel, set up a cupcake with one candle on it and started singing "Happy Birthday To Me," at the top of his voice. He was showered with drinks the rest of the night.
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RELATIVITY OF SPEED ... A flight on Pennsylvania Central Airlines leaves Grand Rapids, Michigan at 9 a.m. and arrives in Milwaukee at 8:50 a.m.
THE ZOMBIE ROOM
We see it every morning;
It happens every day; A double file of pretty gals
Meander on their way.
A thing that puzzles all us men And gives the gals gray hair.
Is when they go to the Powder Room — They always go in pairs.
Perhaps the trip is long and rough;
The hall is dark and lonely; But two by two they always go
To the room marked "Ladies Only."
The bosses stand and pull their hair;
And simply boil with grief. The day's production goes to pot
While the girls go on relief.
At two o'clock each afternoon The march begins once more;
Just what the heck goes on out there That cannot wait "til four?
The only way that we can sec
To make production boom — Is to move the whole damned office
Into the Ladies' Room.
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ONE FOR THE CAA ... In civilian air circles a "short" is a non-priority per* son, usually a company employe riding on a "space available" basis, and who must be removed if a paying passenger comes along. If possible, what is known as "pro tection" is given him; arrangements to continue the journey on a later flight, by train, pony cart, dog sled, or whatever is available.
Recently a young hostess, unfamiliar with airline vernacular, went to work for a large airline. An hour out of Chicago she received by radio the following in*' structions:
Prepare to remove shorts at Detroit. No protection."
For a while she was quite unhappy about it all.
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SIGN IN A LOCAL RESTAURANT . . . "Try our hamburgers. God hates a coward."