Swing (Jan-Dec 1946)

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WRIGHT OR WronfF Us Historians prove Orville and Wilbur tvere trying to perfect a new bicyclel by CHARLESKI H. HOGANOVICH IT'S about time somebody debunked a lot of these myths which have been cunningly fostered by certain persons (names on request) who are connected with the aviation industry. With sly and persistent energy they have spent the past 40 years or so beguihng us into all sorts of fallacious thinking. For instance, those who are not in the know, generally believe that the Wright brothers invented the airplane. We historians, of course, know that this is absurd. Here, for the first time are— THE FACTS! On that bleak and windy day when the Wright brothers, hereinafter referred to as the Wrong brothers, first sent their crasy kitelike fabrication of silk and umbrella ribs skittering shakily over the forbidding sands of Kitty Hawk they realized full well that history indeed had not been made. Wilbur Wrong, who was piloting the vv'obbling craft a few feet above the ground shouted to his brother, Orville Wrong, who was impersonating the ground crew: "How'm I doin'?"' "Well, you seem to me to b; flying," the ground crew averred judiciously. 'Tlying!" gasped Wilbur, clutching madly at a kind of a stick which seemed to be in his hand. (N.B. This later became known as a joy stick, not to be confused with a pogo of the same name.) "That's how it looks from here," Orville, the fun-lovmg brother, insisted stoutly. "Get me out of this thing," the unwilling aeronaut gasped. "Why you couldn't get me into one of these contraptions for a million dollars!" The creaky, inadequate engine' obligingly sputtered to a stop and the glorified kite settled slowly to the ground. The two brothers solemnly inspected their creation. "What do you think we've invented?" Orville asked, a worried frown creasing his brow. "Damned if I know," was the reply. "I thought we were inventing a new bicycle." The brothers, it should