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The Last Laugh
"Where have you been the last three hours?" demanded the minister's wife, somewhat annoyed.
"I met Mrs. Black on the street and asked how her married daughter was getting along," sighed the weary pastor, "so she told me."
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An onion is a vegetable which builds you up physically and tears you down socially.
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The lawyer was browbeating the witness. "I understand," he said fiercely, "that you called on the defendant. Is that so?" "Yes," replied the witness. "What did he say?" continued the lawyer.
At this point the counsel for the opposition objected that evidence as to the conversation was not admissible. An hour's argument ensued. Then the court retired to consider the point, returning after considerable time to announce the question a proper one.
"What did he say?" repeated the lawyer, with a confident smile.
"He wasn't home, sir."
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It is rumored that the same person invented the telephone booth, the breakfast nook and the upper berth.
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"What a change has come over your husband Zeke since we persuaded him to join the church," exulted a preacher in the hillbilly country. "Have you noticed it?"
"Sure have," agreed Zeke's wife. "Before, when we went visitin' on Sundays, he carried his jug o' whiskey on his shoulder. Now he hides it under his coat."
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"No, certainly not," said a woman to a man who had knocked at the door and begged for food. "Go away at once or I'll call my husband." " 'E ain't at 'ome," said the tramp. "How did you know that?" asked the woman.
" 'Cos a man what marries a woman like you is only at 'ome at meal' times."
14JorJi for Our Pictured
1. Matching wits in a game of Canasta are Bob Kennedy and his Swing Session guests, Clyde McCoy, composer of The Canasta Song; his wife Maxine; and their song plugger.
2. Mona Freeman, in Kansas City for the opening of her new picture, Dear Wife, lends charm to a meeting of Club 710.
3. Hi, Neighbor, The Hut'Sut Song, and How Soon? are sung for the Swing Session audience by their composer, handsome Jack Owens.
4. February 14th at Luncheon on the Plaza finds 41 ladies bedecked in an array of Valentine headgear.
5. Earl Wells, Chill Wills, and John Barrymore, Jr., harmonize for the amazement of Club 710 listeners.
6. The Kansas City Blues' new business manager, Parke Carroll, predicts a thrilling season for baseball fans this year.