Swing (Jan-Dec 1950)

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SCIENCE PROMISES A dren's morals and everything else were getting worse. The imminent return of the Dark Ages was stressed then as much as today. But my four chil' dren, and all the other children, thought the world a wonderful place. Today it is the same story. And the children in my new family think the world is a wonderful place. It seems to me that this headshaking is mostly due to getting old. It is one of the first signs of old age. No youthful spirit accepts this defeatism. No aged person needs to feel gloomy In Tulsa, Oklahoma, a traffic officer followed a woman motorist who, hand out for the turn, had driven past him and, hand still out, kept on going for the next two intersections. The policeman pulled up alongside and asked: "What's the big idea?" The woman explained, "I'm just drying my nail polish." "/'// be trying for your parole now — my father has retired." RICHER, LONGER LIFE 483 about the future. Gloom is just a bad habit. Science has given us more of every thing, including more opportunity to develop morally and spiritually We have so much that we do not yet com' prehend the full extent. Against the fears of destruction and enslavement, the world has a guarantee. John Nance Garner, former vice' president, named this guarantee — "men of good will." The world is seeded with them. A little Milwaukee girl came home from school and mentioned that she had to "copy everything from the paper of the girl sitting next to me because I can't see the blackboard." The next day her mother took her to the doctor to test her eyes. He finished and looked at her for a minute. "Your eyes," he said, "are even better than normal. Why can't you see the blackboard?" "Because," answered the little girl, "the girl sitting in front of me is too tall." ▲ Hank Sylvern tells of the Russian who became so mad he wanted to go sock Joe Stalin. "Now, now," cautioned his friend. "Let's not lose our heads." — Earl Wilson. ▲ "Grand Coulee!" yelled the American as he hit his finger with the hammer. "Grand Coulee! What do you mean?" asked the neighbor. "That's the world's largest dam, isn't it?" ▲ After three days and nights of steady downpour, the rural mail carrier on a back country route was requested to make a re port concerning his tardiness in accomplishing deliveries. He wrote: "First day busted tire chains and kept getting stuck in the mud. Second day my team of mules played out. Third day by boat got wedged in treetops above Picnic Grove."