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there will be an elephant playing the flute and a monkey at the cello!"
At that point, the committee members thought a change of topic was in order and they brought his attention to something else. "Let us show you the organs," one suggested quickly.
There were four organs requiring 12 men in relays to pump air for the accompaniment to the 1,500'piece orchestra. This was more to Strauss' liking.
In its effort to do things in a big way, the committee also scheduled the loudest "Anvil Chorus" ever heard. For the great scene of "II Trovatore," Patrick S. Gilmore led a choral group and orchestra, and had 100 Boston fireman simultaneously clanging 100 anvils.
Strauss' conducting was, of course, the outstanding part of the entire program. President Grant attended and so did Mme. Minna Peschka-Leutner, the celebrated "Leipsig Nightingale."
It was arranged that scores of orchestra directors would take their instructions from an illuminated baton in Strauss' hand.
A few minutes before the start, Strauss was frantic. "How will they know when to start?" he cried. "All of them cannot see me!"
"They'll know," he was assured. "They'll know."
Strauss shrugged, mounted the podium and stood ready. The committee hadn't forgotten a thing. As Strauss raised the baton above his head, there was a terrific cannon boom in the harbor. As the baton was lowered on the downbeat, another cannon was fired. It was the signal, and every musician started at the right time! — Barney Schwartz.
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A salesman, new to the West, was dis' appointed to find sage hen the only item on the small town restaurant bill of fare.
"What's this sage hen you have on the menu?" he asked, before giving his order to the waitress.
"Oh," she replied, "it's a game bird, a species of grouse that thrives in the sagebrush hereabouts."
"Does it have wings and can it fly?"
"To be sure, it has wings and can fly."
"In that case," snapped the salesman, "I don't want any."
"Why?" demanded the waitress.
"That's easy," shot back the salesman. "I want no part of anything that has wings and still stays in this Godforsaken state."
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Two men on a fishing trip came to a side road with a "Closed" sign blocking it. However, they noted that fresh tire tracks led around the sign. So they followed the tire marks and ignored the sign. But they had gone no more than half a mile when the road really did end. Only thing to do was to turn around and come back.
On passing the road block again, they found this inscription written on the reverse side: "It really was closed, wasn't it?"
A
Inhale, dear.'