Swing (Feb-Dec 1951)

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VACATION — THE EASY WAY 121 The rule about not going into the water for at least an hour after eating still holds; and so does the caution about drinking impure water, touch' ing unfamihar plants and sampling unknown berries. The one rule for a safe vacation that seems to sum up everything is: "Use common sense." By going along at a slow, easy pace you'll find that you're enjoying your vacation much more than ever before. And when it's time to get back to the job for another fifty weeks, you'll find that you feel much more fit to do the job. After all, that's why you Ui\e a vacation! Betty, the farmer's daughter, was milking a cow when a bull suddenly charged toward her across the meadow. Betty did not move. Summer boarders who had dashed to safety saw, to their astonishment, that the bull stopped within a few yards of Betty, then turned and walked meekly away. "Weren't you afraid?" someone asked the girl. "No, I wasn't, but I bet he was," Betty laughed. "You see, this cow is his motherin-law." "Gee, I'll bet her feet are glad when she sits down!" A lady walked into a bookstore the other day and asked if they had any books interpreting dreams. The clerk showed her the only one in stock. "No," she said firmly, "that isn't it. I am looking for a dream book written by a man whose name begins with G." She pondered for a while but still couldn't remember the full name. Just as she was starting to leave the store, the inspiration came. "Now I remember his name," she said, "It was Jehovah." "Sorry," the clerk said. "We haven't that book, madam. But I can certainly assure you that the author is a very authoritative source." ▲ As two hawk-faced buxom women watched a sky-writing pilot perform, one said: "Now I wonder what induced that man to go in for such fool things." A man nearby spoke up: "Frustration, lady. His wife probably wouldn't let him smoke in the house." ▲ A visitor to Louisiana was standing by the side of a bayou watching a shrimp lugger laden with passengers and produce glide by. A native was standing at the side of the visitor, watching with equal interest. The native finally turned to the visitor and remarked: "That lugger will go on down the bayou to Plaquemine, and — if they've a mind to — the passengers can get on a river steamer that'll take them straight to New Orleans. At New Orleans they can get a bigger steamer that'll take them across the Gulf; they can go to, Mexico and South America and on and on. Why, you can go anywhere on this earth from a bayou!"