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THE LIZARD
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1 the business details with my realtor. ' I can move out in two weeks." He led , the way down the incline of steps, t then halted again. "Goodbye," he said, not holding out his hand, not even wanting to look at them. He turned toward the path up to the
redwoods. As he paissed through the flowered arch of the patio gateway his knees weakened and he flung out an arm toward the leaf'covered post. The wistaria blossom felt cool and soft as it crumpled into dry mash in his cold palm.
Discouraged by a laundry that kept sending his clothes back so shrunk out of shape he couldn't get into them, a customer finally got mad and sent them a large railroad spike. To it he wired a note, say ing: "I'll bet you can't shrink this. "Even' tually the laundry returned to him a small bundle. In it was a carpet tack and a note. It said, "The heck we can't." — Woodmen.
"I'm Mr. B's wife," said the brunette, introducing herself to a blonde at a party. "I'm his secretary," said the blonde. "Oh," said the brunette, arching her I eyebrows slightly. "You were?" — Forest Echoes.
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"It all began when John started a correspondence course in pltunbing . .
A midwestern preacher in the middle of a long sermon was horrified to look up and see his young son methodically shooting the parishioners in various spots of their anatomies with a bean blower. Just as he started to scold the youngster, the boy shouted:
"Keep preaching. Pop. I'll keep them awake tor you!"
A
A tramp knocked at the door of an inn known as "George and the Dragon." The landlady opened the door and the tramp beseeched :
"Could you spare a poor, hungry man a bite to eat?"
"No," she said, slamming the door.
A few minutes later the tramp knocked again. The landlady came again. He asked : "Could I have a few words with George?"
A
A geology professor overheard a friendly argument about the attractions of life in Los Angeles. A man from Mason City, Iowa, said he wouldn't like the torrential rains in winter, the bald, brown hills in summer, and the ever-present possibility of an earthquake.
The Californian was a match for this. He said, "Brother, we don't have earthquakes in California. They're just big movements in real estate!"
It's well known that when grandma was a girl she did not do all the things that girls do today . . . but, too, grandma did not do the things that grandmas do today.
A
If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, then you don't need any.