Swing (Feb-Dec 1952)

THE CREAM OF CROSBY 453 "I haven't missed movies one day," Lucille Ball will tell you stoutly. "Everyone envies us our working hours. In the movies, I got up at 5 a.m. for ten years." On the set where they shoot "I Love Lucy" the hours are more civilized and the camaraderie of cast and crew is something you rarely encounter outside the Army. Everyone — actors, electricians, director, stagehands — is close friends. Living together as they do, they are almost a family. They have their private jokes, their small vexations of daily living. Occasionally, they have their private spats, too. I walked onto the "I Married Joan" set once, after a wee quick one with Jim Backus who plays Miss Davis' husband. Words were flying. "Oh, we're having the unpleasant hour," murmured Backus. "You're not supposed to see this." It sounded like almost any domestic wrangle. Backus leaned an elbow on the top of a double-decker prop bed and watched the scene. "You know," he said, "this is like being married to this woman. We live on the set together, eat together, work together. I see much more of Joan than of my own wife." This is a new type of television matrimony — the domestic comedy. A few sound stages away are Ozzie and Harriet and a step away from that is "I Love Lucy." There is no problem there, though. The Arnazes and the Nelsons are married. They may have to make it compulsory for this sort of show. "Well, Bully for You" I HAVE in the past discoursed on the vagaries of the language used in advertising circles. Today, kiddies, the subject is Hollywood English, about which a whole lexicography could be issued. In fact, if you're not reasonably hep, you could stay here for weeks and not understand a single word anyone said. Let's start the lesson with the proper expressions to use to an actor or producer just after you've seen his picture. We'll assume that it's a real stinker. One way to handle this diplomatically is: "This picture needs special handling." Or: "The kids will love it." For soothing an actor who's just committed a horrible clinker: "You looked great in the rushes." For soothing a pre "Would you mind putting the opera on?" ducer whose latest picture has got terrible notices: "Nobody likes it but the people." One of the best ways to handle the situation at a preview, is to rush up to the producer, grab his hand and ejaculate: "Bob, you've done it again." This can mean anything. If you want to give it the real kiss of death, call it a "prestigetype" picture. Of course, it's just possible you might \i\e the picture, in which case you say: "It's a great little picture." The use of the word "little" is very curious out here. Even "Quo Vadis" is referred to as a "great Mttle picture." If you're talking about a bad picture among yourselves when no one involved is around, the proper expression is: "Don't miss it if you can." Hollywood abounds in real weird char' acters and, naturally, expressions have sprung up to cope with these people. One line, guaranteed to wither the stoutest hide, is to turn to your companion and remark: "Get a stick and I'll help you kill it." Another one: "Follow him and sec what he eats" — which is one of my fav' orites. Not all of these things are confined to Hollywood, of course. Some have seeped through to Broadway. One, which is common on both coasts, is the "nothing but" gambit. "He's got nothing but talent." "That picture will make nothing but money." Or: "He's got nothing but money." Money is on everyone's lips and the proper line for a tight-fisted actor —