Swing (Feb-Dec 1952)

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THE SAGE OF SWING 493 Every man seems to fall into two classications. He's either old and bent or oung and broke. ▲ A man can't always tell when he is Etting into trouble, but he can be pretty ire he is when he agrees to serve on a }mmittee. ▲ When an apple a day costs more than eeping the doctor away, brother, that's iflation. ▲ Weak coffee has probably caused more tvorces than strong drink. A There are mighty few people who think [hat they think they think. A We call loudly for a man of vision and sen we get him we call him visionary. New definition Incle Sam. of the Big Dipper — Monumental liar: One who carves that jff on tombstones. A An infant prodigy is a small child with ghly imaginative parents. A There are no dangerous weapons. There c just dangerous people. Who ever heard a weapon that stalked and killed? An Old Timer is one who remembers en a baby sitter was called "Mother." A diplomat is a chap, who, when asked s favorite color, replied "plaid." A An American is the only chap in the orld who pays 50 cents to park a car hile he eats a 25 cent sandwich. A He who takes but never gives, may last r years, but never lives. A There is nothing noble in being superior somebody else. The true nobility comes being superior to what you once were. A There seems to be one easy way to live a ripe old age. Be somebody's rich uncle. An evangelist announced that there were a total of 726 sins. He has been swamped with inquiries from people who think they are missing something. A We must get rid of the fallacious idea that politics is no life for a lady or gentleman and put more ladies and gentle men in it. ▲ If you pat yourself on the back regularly, people will soon give you plenty of elbow room. ▲ The advantage of a classical education is that it helps you to despise the wealth it prevents you from earning. A Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf or fishing have.