Swing (Jan-Dec 1953)

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60 S« Happiness is like your shadow; you can't get nearer by chasing it. A In the picture a child draws of the world there is always a sun shining — even on a rainy day. A A neurotic is one who believes the world owes him a loving. A Another fine thing about keeping your mouth shut is that no one will be able to misquote you. A Why should we worry about getting old? When we stop getting older, we're dead. A The White House is a little bit like heaven. Everybody talkin' about it ain't going there. A Maybe our Federal tax collectors need a special kind of fountain pen — one that writes under hot water. A A taxpayer is a government worker with no vacations, no sick leaves, and no holidays. A There's something to be said for living in Russia at that; you'd never lose an election bet. A The bad luck in meeting a black cat really depends on whether you're a man or a mouse. A Try to be nice to everyone until you have made your first million. After that they'll be nice to you. A In Julius Caesar's time it cost seventy five cents to kill an enemy soldier; in Napoleon's time the cost was $3,000. In World War II it had risen to $55,000. A It used to take two to make a quarrel, now it takes two to make a living. A Middle age is a period of life when you'd do anything to feel better, except give up what's hurting you. "Yes, Smitbkins is a regular fixture here." A In about ninety eight times out of one hundred, when a person tries to mix business and pleasure, pleasure rises to the top. A One of the things we're fighting for is the right to send our children to the church of our choice, so that we can beat them to the Sunday comics. A Economy is spending your money without getting any fun out of it. A Any home built at present prices truly is a home of the brave. A No wonder Shakespeare wrote so many plays. He didn't have to answer the telephone. A Always remember, money isn't everything; but you mustn't talk that sort of nonsense until you've made some. A Two kinds of people are always in tough luck; those who did it but never thought; those who thought but never did it. A When you have nothing else to worry about these days, you can alway fuss about the country being in the red, or the Reds being in the country.