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The GUSHER
// she's a gracious and Simon-pure gusher, go ahead and say anything that occurs to you! Nothing will register.
COCKTAIL parties bring together all sorts of people . . . the intense, the bashful, the bored — but for sheer delight, nothing quite equals the gusher. She is usually very pretty and for this, nature insists upon compen' sation.
When you meet a gracious, Simonpure gusher, one born to gush, you can throw all bounds of probability aside and say the first thing that comes into your mind, certain that it will meet with an appreciative burst of enthusiasm. Her attention is always on something else, perhaps on the dress of her neighbor, perhaps on the reflection of her pretty face, but never on the conversation.
You are presented to her as:
"Mr. Mnnnnnn."
She is, "Delighted."
She smiles ravishingly. As yet you don't know she's a gusher, though her first remark, the animation of her face and the farawayness of the eye makes you suspicious, so you test her.
"I happen to have six children."
"Oh, how perfectly wonderful! How old are they?
Quite sure that she is engaged in mental evaluation of the dress on the woman who has just entered the room, you answer:
"Each is five."
"Oh, how nice!" She looks you in the eye, unseeingly. "Just the right
By
LESTER KROEPEL
age to be companions."
"Yes, all but one."
Her eye has wandered to another part of the room but the sympathetic voice says, "That's a pity."
"Yes, isn't it? But he's quite healthy."
It's a game you're enjoying now.
"Healthy, you say? How nice. Do you live in the country?"
"Not exactly. We live in the Holland Tunnel under the tulip trees."
"Oh, how perfectly idyllic!"
"We have all the advantages of the city with the comforts of the country. The children bathe in the sewer when it's cold enough."
"Oh, how charming. How many children do you have?"
"Just seven. The oldest is five and the youngest is nine."
"Just at the interesting age. Aren't children fascinating?"
Again the vivacious smile and the roving eye.
"Yes . . . indeed. My oldest . . . He's thirteen and very original . . . 6ays that when he grows up he doesn't know what he'll be."