The talking machine world (Jan-Dec 1908)

4: • THE TALKING MACHINE WORLD. TALKERS IN THE HARRIQAN FLATS. Unexpected Result of Mrs. Harrigan's Fondness for Talking Machine Music — Revenge That" Worked Both Ways — A Story of the East Side That is Plain and Unvarnished. There was not a more peaceful row of tene ments in the greater city, barring certain occasions, chiefly Saturday nights, than the Harrigan row of flats on East street. Denis Harrigan, the owner of the flats, was the autocrat of the block and incidentally leader of his district, having stuck faithfully to Tammany in many a hot primary election fight. Needless to say, it was by having his palm frequently "crossed with sliver" in politics that Harrigan saved enough to buy the flats referred to by his enemies as the "Flats of All Nations." Harrigan's eldest daughter Nellie was the belle of the neighborhood, and in view of her position had become a rare pianiste, according to East Side ideals — meaning that she could play the latest popular music after about a week's rehearsing, and was noted for her playing of "Love Me and the World Is Mine" in ragtime. Mrs. Harrigan and the boj Michael, however, boasted no such accomplishments, and the music in their natures lay dormant until one day when they visited a new arcade on the avenue and heard the wonderful music of a talking machine. The next day Harrigan pere was forced to buy a machine and bountiful supply of records for home entertainment, and then the trouble started. -For a week or so the tenants of the flats rather enjoyed the musical addition to their community, which usually kept busy about eighteen hours a day. At the end of that period, however, the tones of the talker became monotonous, and after a fortnight the tenants "kicked" about the surplus of music. Their answer was, "Harrigan, That's Me" played for three days without any low tone attachment on the reproducer. A bitter revenge was the only satisfaction they could be able to obtain, and they obtained it to the taste of the gods. Schmidt, the butcher, who lived in the next apartment to Harrigan, was the first to become active, and he purchased a machine similar to Harrigan's but with a much larger horn. The next evening and for the following week the denizens of the block were regaled with about half the selections in the German portion of the foreign catalog, blended with the favorite tunes of the Harrigan repertoire. Then the Harrigan machine started to grind out "It's the Dutch" for seventy-two hours with very short intermissions. It stopped the Schmidt machine, but still further aroused the ire of the neighbors. The Polish and Swedish families on the top floor then took a hand in the "talker" war and made the horn the mainstay of their equipment. When th? music of Poland and Sweden began to float on the breeze with an increasing volume the Harrigan's thought the limit had been reached; but no, the Italians next door invested their profit-^ from the fruit stand in a machine with a fortyiuch horn and assailed the ears of the row with selections from "II Trovatore" and other operas dear to the Italian's heart. If there was anything on earth that would irritate the Harrigans, excepting, of course, a toast to King Edward, it was grand opera music when the popular stuff was so convenient and steep. The climax was reached, however, when Ephraim Williams, a colored gentleman with cultivated tastes, got into the ring, with a talking machine with which to combat the other music makers and incidentally entertain his wife, Mandy, and the pickaninnies. He first tried out "I'm Bon-Bon Buddy the Chocolate Drop" and "I've Got to See the Minstrel Show." Harrigan then warned him that "St. Patrick's Day Is a Bad Day for Coons," while Schmidt filled the air with the tuneful message, "Keep on Smiling." Williams then played the wall, "Everybody's Pickln' on Me," after which even the Pole and the Swede started to "pick," while the Italian tried to soothe them with grand opera aria. Things quickly came to a head with the six machines thundering in competition at one time, and leaving the talkers in charge of their wives the five whites started out to annihilate the latest comer. When Williams saw them approaching he fled, taking time to inform them, however, that "When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder I'll Be There." With no victim, the belligerents began to pass uncomplimentary remarks among themselves and finally started to "mix" things. After the police had pried Harrigan from the German, rescued the Swede and Pole from underneath the pile and taken a knife away from the Italian, they proceeded to take the crowd to court, where the magistrate, after listening to the whole story suggested that they divide the time for playing the talkers. Everyone wanted the same hours, however, and after much argument and not a little wild language Harrigan Issued the ultimatum that either talking machines or tenants must go, agreeing to also dispense with his talking machine at the same time. It was a cold winter, so the "talkers" lost, and it was a mournful procession that carried them to the second-hand man. On the return trip, unfortunately Ephraim, who had not heard the ultimatum and was not aware of the approach of his enemies, put on the worst record he could have chosen under the circumstances, namely, "It's Better to Have Nothing All the Time and Something for a Little While." Only the interference of the police and the rapid exit of Ephraim and the machine prevented murder, and the avengers returned home to console them with the tones of the accordion, facetiously known as "the tenement house piano." All the music in Harrigan's soul was crushed out by the experience, and now when anyone moves into the flats, with a musical instrument, whether piano or jewsharp, he says, "D'ye moind now, ye can only play for chu hours the noight, fr'm eight t' tin. Wan minnit over that an' out ye go; d'ye listen well now," and peace again reigns in the Harrigan row of flats, while two Nickelodeons in the neighborhood are turning away crowds at every performance, crowds who hunger for a little talker music. mittance to the large room, and the whole affair was of a nature which made Manager Jordan, of the Houck Co., smile with delight. The interest manifested in the meeting, notwithstanding the extracts from Mr. Bryan's speeches were reproduced by the Victor records, showed they were enjoyed and applauded. The records were plain and distinct and all who have heard the great Commoner recognized his voice with absolutely no trouble. All efforts to discredit the meeting by referring to the speeches as being of the "canned" variety were futile. The enthusiasm and the crowd last night were far greater than at the Taft rally of last week. ALL ON ACCOTJNT OF Why doth thf staid New Yorker cheer And strain each tendon of his ear When eagerly he goes to hear « And why doth he from morn till night Articulate in sheer delight To all who come "Say, he's all right," * 1 Explaining how "he beats the band And causes ear-drums to expand By simply raisin' up his hand, * ; And, when at length the curtain bell Is heard to sound ; it breaks the spell. And all the audience rise and yell « 1 1 While some the stage attempt to reach. The others, frantic, fairly screech ; "Only pebble on the beach," ♦Name furnished on application. tAuthor's name ; no extra charge. HE QUIT THINXING. TALKING MACHINE IN POLITICS. That the dealers have the support of the newspapers in their efforts to introduce the records of the campaign orators is evidenced by the following which recently appeared in the Chattanooga (Tenn.) News: "The Bryan rally last night at the O. K. Houck Piano Co. was an ovation to the absent Nebraskan. A large number were unable to gain ad The new clerk stammered: "Well, sir, I thought " "You thought!" shouted the irate proprietor. "You are hired here to work, and not to think!" The next day the boss said: "When you knew that order was wrong why did you obey it? Common sense and a moment's thought would have saved a lot of trouble." "I have quit thinking," quietly responded the clerk. A fine display of Victor and Edison goods is being made in the windows of the Regina Co., Broadway and 17th street. New York. The effective arrangement is the combined work of Manager Wilbur and his assistant, John J. Wood. OUR VICTOR RECORDS Guaranteed Perfect We have arranged for two entirely distinct and separate stocks of VICTOR RECORDS ONE RETAIL, ONE WHOLESALE. Bv this sj-stem we are enabled to cruarantee our Wholesale Trade that they will receive' from ns VICTOR RECORDS in absolutely the same condition they are supplied us bj the factory. NOT RECORDS THAT HAVE BEEN USED FOR DEMONSTRATING MACHINES ; NOT RECORDS THAT HAVE BEEN PLAYED FOR RETAIL PROSPECTS But— Absolutely New Unplayed Records You will appreciate We don't need to enlarge upon the advantagfes of this system, it. We origrinated the system of supplying' the high-grade RED SEAL RECORDS IN SEALED ENVELOPES This is appreciated hy dealers in Victor Records, and we are sure the new method of fiUinc wholesale orders from a stock which is in no wa.v connected with our retail stock will be even more appreciated by them. If You Want New Records, Send Us Your Orders The Eastern Talking Machine Co., bZIoZmJI: Original Distributers of Victors in New England LARGEST STOCK — BEST SERVICE Fifteen Years an Exclusive Talkins Machine House