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CHAPTER XXIV 87 two results. It will give more action and show him in a better light since he no longer calmly accepts his dismissal. He is a fighter and we_ love a fighter. We might get this development: 19. Left to herself Mary trusts to the Junior Partner. To win her confidence he causes her rapid advancement. Partly through jealousy and partly through more kindly motive, some girl in the office writes Ben. Ben returns to the city. He makes a scene in the office, taxing Mary with loose conduct and trying to kill the Junior Partner. The Junior Partner declares his intention of marrying Mary. Ben can say nothing to this. He again returns home. 20. The remainder would run as before. This is better, because there is more and more spirited action, but it is by no means enough. Change that factor that recites that the girl writes Ben. Make it purely a matter of malice. Then show that ISIary, ashamed to re- turn home, seeks other employment. Shame and grief bear her down.! She sinks in health and spirit and is no longer able to work. Found! starving in her room, she is taken to the hospital. The papers men-' tion the fact in a line. The same girl who wrote before, now with kindly motive, again warns Ben. He comes and takes ]Mary home, where she recovers her strength and spirits and becomes Ben's wife. 21. Now the change in the motives behind the girl's first letter gives a little touch to the story, but the greater gain has been in straight narrative and plot development. Here there is the suspense that arises from the question as to how INIary will fare or how Ben will learn of her troubles. In our previous outworkings we have always had her go straight home to Ben, the obvious and easiest way out of her troubles. Xow she fears to face him and by staying away raises a far more important question of suspense than had she merely returned to Ben to see if he would have her. But all through this we show Ben, who is a decent sort of chap, in a poor light. Always he is staying home waiting for events to shape themselves. We have more admira- tion for a hero who goes out to shape events for himself. Suppose that we go back and try and put Ben in a better light. We can do it somiething like this: 22. Ben and Mary get employment in the same factory. Mary attracts the attention of the Junior Partner. His notice flatters her. Ben notices this and remonstrates. They quarrel. Ben argues with the Junior Partner. He is laughed at. That evening he finds the Junior Partner taking Mary to a dance hall of unsavory reputation. He follows them. During the evening the Junior Partner seeks to take advantage of Mary's helplessness. Ben interferes. There is a fight. The proprietor of the place has Ben arrested. The Junior Partner uses his influence to have Ben sentenced to prison.