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THE COMEDY STORY 115 This would not be very funny, but it would not be gruesome. But suppose that Pat, to fool the installment collector, pretends to be dead. The crape is displayed on the door, the undertaker comes and measures Pat and when the installment man comes he is reminded that the company gives the remaining payments to the widow. He goes away and Pat rises from the dead to ex- press his joy. Here is death and the suggestion of death. It may possibly be amusing to the unthinking, but it may remind hundreds of per- sons of a more or less recent bereavement and bring tears instead of laughs. Most Editors will not consider a comedy with a death and it will scarcely pay to write for those few who may. Comedies, based on overindulgence, should be avoided. The use of spirits should be handled with care. A mild case of ex- hiliaration, such as Smith has in the book agent story, may pass, but a pronounced case of intoxication is disgusting to most per- sons no matter how much your appreciation of the story may blind you to the actual condition. Remember that the visual pres- entation of the offensive is infinitely worse than the written treat- ment and that you are writing something to be seen; not merely to be read. Comedies in which children or animals are abused are not comedies at all. Resentment at the treatment of the helpless child or dumb brute will far outweigh the highest possible comedy value of such a scene or others connected with it. It is a mistake to try and turn the familiar old jokes into comedies. Most of these are known to the Editor and if he wants them he will write them himself. Three productions of the man who was thrust into the ball room without his trousers when he thought he was going to an ante-room have been made in so short a space as a year, but each time those in a position to know have found that the story was written by the Editor because comedy ideas were scarce and a script had to be done at once. It is all right for the Editor to write this stuff because he is not offering it as his own idea. You are supposed to offer only original matter and if you send in something like that it will be argued that if you will steal these commonplace ideas and offer them as your own you will assuredly steal less well known stories and possibly get the studio into trouble with the copyright laws. It is possible that you may succeed in selling one of these stories to some editor who had never heard that particular story, but if you do you may be assured that on its production at least one and possibly hundreds will write the studio, commenting on