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WHO’S ON FIRST? Lou Costello Has Been Asking Bud Abbott For The Last 17 Years Practically everyone’s chuckled at Abbott & Costello’s “Who’s on First?” routine, one they’ve performed more than 10,000 times during the past 17 years. Given the same material, can you get the same laughs? By publish¬ ing, for perhaps the first time, part of the famed skit, TV Guide now of¬ fers you a chance to find out. abbott— You know, strange as it may seem, they give ballplayers now¬ adays very peculiar names . . . Now, on the St. Louis team Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third— costello —That’s what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team. abbott —I’m telling you. Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third— costello — You know the fellows’ names? Sfill another baseball problem confronts comedians Bud Abbott, I., Lou Costello. abbott —Yes. costello —Well, then, who’s playin’ first? a. —Yes. c.—I mean the fellow’s name on first base. A.— Who. c.—The fellow playin’ first base. a.— Who. c.—The guy on first base. a. —Who is on first, c.—Well, what are you askin’ me for? A. —I’m not asking you—I’m telling you. Who is on first, c.—I’m asking you—who’s on first? a. —That’s the man’s name! c.—That’s who’s name? a.— Yes. c.—Well, go ahead tell me! a. —Who. c.—Have you got a first baseman on first? A. —Certainly. c.—Then who’s playing first? a. —Absolutely. c.—Well, all I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base. A. —Oh, no, no. What is on second base. c.—I’m not asking you who’s on sec¬ ond. a. —Who’s on first. c. —That’s what I’m trying to find out. a. —Now, take it easy, c.—What’s the guy’s name on first base? a, —What’s the guy’s name on second base. c.—I’m not askin’ ya who’s on second. A. —Who’s on first, c.-—I don’t know. a. —He’s on third. c.—If I mentioned the third baseman’s name, who did I say is playing third? a. —No, Who’s playing first. 16