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Christmas time has come, and we Greet the people on TV:
Arthur Godfrey, who has, at last, TV's finest all-fired cast;
Mary Martin, who Peter-Panned,
With Cyril Ritchard, and wasn’t it granned ?
Disney, who once more filled his pocket With all the loot from Davy Crockett; Eddie and Debbie, isn’t tt sweeter Than what became of Meg and Peter ? Liberace’s movie is full of zing,
For he’s a many-splendored thing;
Fran and Ollie and little Kuke;
Spock when you're spoken to, Dr. Spook.
Hal March has viewers’ nerves a-tingle, He’s the Ramar of the Jingle;
TV has no wrestling villain,
Just people trying for a million,
Like him who wore Marine escutcheon, Captain Richard S$. McCutchen; Adventure charts the Age of Mammals, Buster Crabbe has switched to camels; Wide Wide World comes on and then Sylvester Weaver wides again;
On Damon Runyon, gays meet molls, Bob Cummings’ show has all the dolls; Durante’s nose and Gobel’s pose,
What’s Hitchcock up to, do you suppose ?
A TV CHRIST
... Or, You Think
Gunsmoke, Frontier find the West, Where psychiatry 1s best;
New-type Westerns, rootem-tootem; Analyze them first, then shoot ’em;
Roy and Gene still punch the cow, Brave Eagle now can tell them “How,” Autry’s Champion, salary bigger,
Soon may ride Roy Rogers’ Trigger. Wyatt Earp can foil a stick-up
(He’s also known as Wild Bill Hiccup) Of courage, he has all his quota,
~ He only fears bicarb of soda;
Hopalong will never fly
To that bunkhouse in the sky; Westerns, schizoid, delirium tremens, Can’t compete with Cowboy G-mens.