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MAS CAROL
Scrooge Had Trouble!
Berle, his rating now defining;
Looks to find the Silvers lining;
That's Silvers, Phil, an artist, con; Not Silver, pirate, Long and John;
When Miltie turned down Gleason’s job
(And some 11 million bob)
He never thought that by manana He might slip up on Top Banana; Benny’s not old, Loretta’s Young; John Daly speaks a different tongue; Baseball, football, basketball, Lucy; Carsons—Jack, John, Jean and Susy; Top, Town, Story (Big, for all), What became of Mary Small ?
Mr. Conklin begs your pardon,
His favorite Christmas Eve, is Arden.
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Howdy has his Howdy Doodlums,
Robin has his Robin Hoodlums;
Kid shows —how the youngsters blink, From Winky Dink to Pinky Wink; And don't you think a queen like Sheena ‘Too much for the pre-, pre-teena ?
Lassie, Rinty, on their shows,
Showing off their doggy clothes;
Two for the Money and on your Marx; The Caesar Houtr’s the place for larx: Father Knows Best (except on Riley); Sullivan’s never known as Smiley; Afraid of Christmas is Ronald Howard,
~ But would you call him a Noel coward ?
Marlin Perkins rules the Zoo;
Jack Webb turns Pete Kelly blue;
Dave and Steve close NBC's
Shows in horn-rimmed parentheses; Crossroads fells of greater glories; Medic brings you inside storie; Herbert Philbrick, shoes of felt on, © ‘Rounds up all the Reds but Skelton; Skitch has a Van Dyke: Van Dyke has none, So it’s now Faye Emerson Henderson; British pictures, new and old; Hollywood, please join the fold,
End this television snobbery:
Let us see The Great Train Robbery’; Christmas carols let us sing!
Make the Lawrence Welk-in ring.
— Ollie Crawford