Variety (Mar 1906)

VARIETY. ii SOME MUSICAL NOTES. Remember the famous "Oak Room" at Witmark's, rendezvous of the best song writers and singers of the day? Dropped in last week, oak room still there, but no song writers, no singers, just two idle "ivory ticklers." Reaching the street, 1 overheard a child speak thusly to its parent: "Papa, why do they call music publishers auarchists?" "Because they do not believe in royalty, my son." "Harmony Hollow" is amusedly watch- ing the song publications of the rival Von liizers, "King Henry and Prince Albert." When Al starts "teasing," Harry immedi- ately begins "sneezing." Should Harry's new ditty be "I think it's going to rain," Albert's new title page reads "I believe it's about to snow." It used to be "Never introduce your donna to your pal," now it's "never put your brother in the busi- ness." A short while ago I received a present of a Boston bull terrier from my friend Maxwell Silver. Preparing for an emer- gency a day or so ago I bought me a bot- tle of Doctor (Jlover's Mange Cure for horses and dogs. On reading the wrapper around the bottle. 1 read among other tes- timonials: "Dear Doctor: After several applica- tions of your Mange Cure on my scalp, I have grown an almost entire head of new hair. Yours truly. ".10 PAIGE SMITH." Can this be our Jo? The English music publishers have a queer idea of the rights of an American song writer. The American writes his song and when it is an assured hit, our English cousin secures the English rights and the words not quite suiting him, he changes an "if" to a "should." a "but" to an "only," and John Smith of New- York's song becomes in London: "By John Smith (microscopic type), revised by (type a foot high) H. Fitz-Roy I* Vere." "Revised" is good. Have read the advance sheets of Ren Shield's new joke book, "Local Stuff," which is labelled "A Sister to 'Buy Jingo,'" his former laughing success. Be- sides containing enough material for a half dozen different monologues, the hu- morous original "ads" of variety artists makes it a bet not to be overlooked. The Rounder. POOR VAUDEVILLE HAS FAILED. The craze for vaudeville which spread over the country a year or so ago is see- ing the beginning of the end in the small- er towns and villages where barns, vacant stores and the like were converted into "theatres" and vaudeville given by inde pendent managers without any knowledge of it for the least price that could be charged. At one time when a man "went broke" he took up the real estate business. Vaude- ville suggested a new line, and people all over the country opened a "vaudeville theatre" with the expectation that a for- tune awaited them in no time. There are numberless places throughout the country which come under this cate- gory, the manager acting independently or in conjunction with one or two. other houses, and had the impression that a bill costing from $150 to $200 weekly would attract $500 in business, netting $200 each week after the expenses were paid. In the villages two shows nightly are given with a matinee generally on Wednesday and Saturday. Some houses * * * placed bars in the "theatres" to help in- crease the revenue, but the inexperience in this line had the same result as with the vaudeville. The result has been that no patronage can be commanded. The people see the bill one week. That is enough. No $150 show any place can draw business, and there is approaching a financial crisis with the small managers all over. Those not already "gone broke" are trying to sell out to some victim, and before the sum- mer arrives the vaudeville field will be depleted of the poor shows which have injured the legitimate vaudeville. The countrymen after once viewing a bill of this calibre avoid the real article when visiting a larger city, and it has had also the reverse effect upon the home trade, for a resident who has once seen a real vaudeville will not attend the local house upon his return to the burg. The houses affected are mostly in the Middle West. They book from Chicago, but are not connected in any way with the Sullivan-Considine Circuit, which gives a practically high grade bill at the same price in the larger places. VAUDEVILLE IN TOWNS. In presenting vaudeville in the smaller cities of from G0,000 to 80,000 population great Care must be taken in the selection of the acts, from the fact that the audi- ences as a rule are far more critical than in larger cities, but very appreciative when an act is liked. No matter how much ad- vertising you do, your audience is the best advertiser, and their criticisms do more good than anything else. Good singing, dancing- and comedy are what are wanted. Sketches as a rule are not liked, and we play but very few of these. The former idea of having the cheaper act open the bill is being done away with, as the first impression an audience gets usually grades the show, as to it being good or bad, and we are starting our bills with the higher priced acts. Colored teams with very few exceptions are well liked in the smaller cities, and are generally sure fire hits, very often making a better impression than acts which co«t almost double what the colored act receives. Headliners for the smaller cities are hard to secure, as the high prices asked hardly permits one to get up a bill within any figure where the house will come out even, and many times where a headliner has been a hit in cities like New York, Chicago, Boston, etc., come into the medium towns they do not make as good as the second rate act. An an- swer to all this is, An act that has the poods can always be sure of success, no matter what city it plays in, and it does not always follow that the name in big type will be better liked than the act in small type who gets the medium salary. Joe L. Weber, Manager Mohaick Theatre, Schenectady, X. V. THE KNOCKED. A crowd of performers were utamUng one day In a group, In the sun, on the street. Hall fellows well met. each one full of play, They would chaff each performer they'd meet They told Jokes and 6torles. recited and sang, You could hear them all over the block. Till one. of their number brought a cloud In the sky, He was the first one that started to knock. He told little things that had happened on bills And of managers and what they had said. Of a Boubrette that mashed him on a bill last week And said that she ought to be dead. He knocked every act that was getting along, Said they stole every gag that they did, And the only thing that saved So and So's act He did it when only a kid. He said that the agents had all - gortiTfiI~»oTe Because he wouldn't give up ten per cent., And as to that guy up on Twenty-eighth Street. Why he helped bin to pay his rent. And so lie raved along nnd swore And told all the lies he knew. Rut the crowd had slowly drifted away Until there were left but two. The one was a real old timer. With age his head was bent, His clothes were worn and greasy, And he didn't have a <ent. But he placed his hand on the knocker And said, "Walk with me up the street. Perhaps we may meet a friend of yours. And we can both get something to eat. "Say, friend, you've got a damn bad habit, You're a knocker; I once was the same as you. Now I haven't a single friend In the world; You can see what It's brought me to. •So clve It up, pal; It do< sn't pay, A good word has a wonderful charm. And If you can't say a food word for an act. Don't do it any harm." Fred Kay. TEN CENT PIONEERS. It is becoming apparent that the ten cent theatre through the West is spread- ing the propaganda of vaudeville. Par- ticularly is this the case in the South west, where from time immemorial a variety theatre has been regarded as the entrance way to the path that leads to perdition. Even the Orpheum in New Orleans, with its splendid reputation, had a hard time at first in getting the people to come to their shows, but for the past two or three years the best people in the town have been regular patrons, and there is no finer appearing audience anywhere than is to be found in the theatre on St. Charles street. In other parts of the Southwest the same antagonism prevails and it will be long before the bars will be taken down, but a ten cent show can live.where the extravagant Orpheum bills would fail, and they will pave the way for a more pre- tentious house in towns where such can live. In the Middle West they are more ready to receive vaudeville and already it is being shown that in some of the places a larger house and more ambitious bills will pay. Morris Meyer field and Mar- tin Reck are ever on the lookout for these place*, and the position they have won west of the Mississippi is not apt to be assailed by the smaller ventures, while on the other hand these cheaper shows will pave the way for the more costly kind. They are pioneers and as such should be respected. Gertie DeMilt, for a long time with Fred Irwin's Majesties, has agreed to lead the singing act to be called The Postal Telegraph Boys. MYERS & KELLER ON BROADWAY. Following the trend of vaudeville in ii> progress towards 'limes Square, Myers \- Keller, the agents, have decided to leave their present offices on Thirty-firs! street and will shortly locate around Broadway and Fortieth street. (lamped quarters in their present loca lion necessitated a move and new offices will be selected with sulli- tent apace for a permanent address for u long rime \>> '<>me. THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE. I stood in the hall about to light a cigar early in the morning when the Head ol he lions,, appeared in a bath robe. Why, how do you do?" says she. "Are you going put or coming in?" "That's a nice Utile cute remark," says I. "I have been standing here for an hour trying to make up my mind." "It would be better," says she, "if you .stayed at home and made up with the butchers." . ^What's the matter with them?" says I. "Well," says .she, "since I saw you last one has failed, and the other doesn't know me any more." "I ought to stay home and keep a look- out for you," I says, wondering how any- one could go broke when I was not around. "It wasn't on my account," says she. "It was caused by our joint meat account." "There's enough comedy happening around these diggin's twice a day without you trying it out also," says I. "Stop talking," she says. "Stay in or go out, but leave some money." "If you are home so much you don't need money," says I. "I don't need anything," says she, "ex- cept to know it* there's any continuous vaudeville show in town that keeps open until four in the morning." "None that I know of," says I, "10.30 is about the limit anv one can stand." "Perhaps you eat all night," says she. "Nope," says I, "just a sandwich or so." "Of course," says she, "I'm not suspi- cious and I'm not a lawyer, yet there is a difference of about four hours that you don't figure out." "What do you think?" says I. "I don't think," says she, "I'm alone so much that I've given up the habit." "You don't suppose/' says I, "that if I had nothing to do, I would go any place except home," "That's true enough, all right, I guess," she says, "but which home would you go to?" "What do you mean?" ?avs I; "that's pretty (love to an accusation." "Oh," says she. "I'm not the dub I used to he. When a girl has nothing to do, she reads, and there'* some looks that explain n whole lot of things I never understood before." "Not May Irwin's cook book," I says, growing fearful. "No, no cook book," says she, "there are others, though, that tell about warm things." "You had belter go in the country for a few weeks," naj's J t "this thing is work- ing on your mind." "I think I'll go Ion; just, for the experi- <i ice," says she, "I have too much time on my hand- anyway." "What's the use of going crazy?" says I. "How about the butcher bill?" says she. "Find another." I says, "who isn't too curious." -What do I get," she .ays, ''if I do?" "Anything you want." says I, "if you will also keep on sleeping when you hear me come in." '•That's » pood offer," says she, "I'M take a divorce.'' Sime. I i.ink «c Parry, circuit manager of the Interstate Company, and /<>.i Matthews! were married in Dallas recently, and will reside in t hat TeXan town.