Variety (Jan 1932)

Toesday, Jannwy 26, 1932 TIMES S Q n A R E VAKIETr B'way Colanm Wrilii^ as Exposed By Ed Slivaii. Who s One of Ptprlntad From 'Ed Sullivan S^ea Broadway', the daily faatura'of the New York 'EVENING GRAPHIC By Ed Solliyaii : EtiQuette of ColMinninB—To column in the Broadway manr.er, there are certain niceties ot form to be observed...It oni» Is to ciarry on the tradition. ■Speclflcallyi you must never admit that any one has ever scooped you'on a piece of news...If It.does occur that somebody beats you to the punch, express pained' Indignation....Like this. .."What a borse thief that bird Is.. .1 had It two weeks kgo. . .Actualiy, I bad it two JIONTHS ago, but you know how time flies.' Never, at any time, can you show bewilderment.. .Tou must cultivate a prop look of knowledee.. .If a fellow rushes up to you and says: 'Did you know Charlie. Montenegro is on the spot?"...it is up to a columnist to cracki. .'Are you kidding me? On the spot? Say, they shot at him . and missed two nights ago.' . Do you get It?...'Always beat th« informant to the punch...Whatever Iiappens on Broadway is not news to you...Tou have anticipated it.... Or you were there...Or the undertaker told you abbut it...If they say go-and-so will get $1,900 for a role...Check them up...Snarl at them: .^1^007 you're all wet; It's exactly $1,874.86 after the commission Is taJien oft the top'.,.Tou see all and know all.. .Build up an illusion'of mys- ticism...If they say; 'How do you scoop the town night after night with those. Rlalto Rumors?'...Put on a ftur away look...a.nd a gentle ■mile.. .Don't'confess that it's hard work and a set routine that gathers news.. .Make 'em. feel .that your legs are wired for sound.. .Make 'em believe that 'whien they! hear noises In their houses. ..It's not mice...; But Sullivan's operatives, asking the can-openers, to come clean. 'Had our tribe lived In the good old days.. .National heroes would tave been exposed as 'impostlators' if I may use Jimmy Durant's word ...Keep your hose out of this, Durante!.:.Can'you imagine what the Broadway columns would have done to the Greek who ran from Marathon to Athens to announce victory?.. .1 can see the lines' in the -various •olumns. " Under the BJalto Bumors of the following day's issue, I. would Have cut up a few touches.. .'The Stem is chuckling over that Greek's twenty ■Iz-mile foot race. . .The lowdown on the phony is that he didn't make . good on what check at what big gambling house?'...If t didn't bring him down with that flrst shot, I'd keep after him...The next day, I'd put in another dig.. .'That bird who sprinted from, here to there did it to tallyhoo a hew foot lotion which will shortly be drug-stored"...If the public continued'to applaud blm, I'd let bim have both barrels... anderstand that the foot race to Athens was the. result of that phony's attack on a crippled boy, who asked alms for a widowed mother and was kicked In the mouth'., .That would bury him so deep.that Benedict Arnold would hav« been a philanthropist by comparison. Paul Revere would have learned that jSroadway columns are mightier .than a heroic gallop...The day after his famous .ilde we. could have polished him oft.,."What 'Vanities' eyeful rode-side-saddle with P. R last night?' would have l>een a logical query...Or...'They are chuckling ever Paul Revere'a hasty exit from what house last night? He just made it...The husband got hep when he saw lanterns two -weeks before Halloween...The thing Is unlimited in its poBslbllltles...If we had put eur minds to It, I think the best he could have got would have been a sentence for stealing a.horse. Josephine and Napoleon -would have been right up our alley.. .'They're whispering that -when Mr. Napoleon took that trip to Russia, the frau had the Traveling Salesmen's Convention at the house'... Or If this'were too discreet...'Mr. Napoleon will be startled at the new mink coat his wife won In that lottery'.. .But that's her story, and siie's stuck with It' '...Or you could rib the husband in other fashions...'That noise from Mrs. Napoleon Bonaparte's shack while hubby was gone has been ex- . plained...Those men said they were only hanging pictures...Oh, yeah?' »..By the time we were flnished,- the vest-pocket conqueror would have a suspicion that the royal consort had been true to the marines in his absence. Shakespeare Would have lasted Just about a week...Under our slur- ilng attacks .'..'That young playwright from Ayon will be sued for libel by Shylock & Co., one of the bigger banks.. .And if be gets past that lamage suit, the Venetian Scale and 'Weight Company will sue him for BisrepreBentatlon.. .He claimed the scale features a twelve-ounce pound ^..Max Steuer Is representing the plaintlRs.. .'It's closed and shut' said Steuer yesterday, 'and ,1 have deflnite evidence that this so-called play- Wright Is mixed up with the Vincent Coll gang'So Shakespeare would be sent to the laundry for a dry cleaning. ..He would have been for- tunate indeed to get out in time for the Washington bicentennial exercises. But why give you other illustrations?.. .The idea is that, we go .along, Ih our humble way, trying to spread seeds of dissatisfaction where orchids grew before.. .Harmony is our ruin and our downfall.. .We seek dls- •ord, divorce, lawsuits, and you will pardon the smug chuckle as I say. • ■ got them!.. ..We'ore the vultures winging above the Empire State Building, . .Eyeing you hungrily.. .Tou think at night that you are hear- ing airplanes... Not so... That's us. Sure, -we do favors...But it wrenches our hearts to do good...We see man-led men out with other husbands' wlvies.: .A friend says': .'Forget It, don't blow.the police whistle'... So we don't blow a police whistle... A. siren is better..It makes more noise.. .Yesslr, we're a Jolly, happy orew, and the sour look on our pans is misleading.. .In fact, the sour look doesn't tell the half of it. Scandal, gossip rumor.. .Founded or unfounded. . .To ys, they're a wagonlpad of hors d'oeuvre.. .Life to us is Just a bowl "of cherries... With the razzes for you...You only offend me when yoii say, for In- stance, that I'm constrgctive.. .Constructive?. ..You wound me. to the *pul...you mean that I don't hurt y<?ur feelings?.'. .My gracious, I'm a noperoo.. .What? Oh, I do belt now and then?.. .Well, now, that's better .'..I Wouldn't want to think I was smothering to death In a pot of honey • ..Eh, whiat?.. .Tou have an exclusive story for me?.. .Don't be crazy.,. I Printed that twa.weeks ago. Fronts for Coluinist A well known Broadway columnist, his host and other guests were refused admit- tance by a class speakeasy In New Tork one night last week because of the presence. In the party of the newspaper' man. Management Anally let the party in when the host gave his word that the columnist would print ho tip-off stuff re- gardlpg the place, the address, or the customers present. L Ae's City Hall Burns With SmaU Town Qown Tacti^^ BOZO SAYS 'YES' Finally Break* Silenoe in Weddlitfl Gert Hayet Modest Racket Tacoma, Jan, 23. Tills burg probably has the^ most novel boptleggers in the U, ,S. They are called wood bootleggets. They rent a truck, go to a nearby mill which there are plenty, buy a Iwid of wood oft the dump, load it and begin a hoxjua to house. It takes two . for the'racket, one to drive and the other with, the bull, '"e latter mostly former salesmen. They buy the kindling for $1.60 and start to sell for $6 or lower a.s nlffht falls. They spilt . tlie prolit after paying the rent of the truck. Lee Chapin Paralyzed Los Angeles, Jan. 25, Lee R, Cliapln, formerly with Gertrude HolTmainn productlon.s and lately in plciurea, is In the U. S. MinUry Home, West Los Angeles, confined to a wheel I'hair through paralysis of both legs. Mex FlU (kab Cheap Divorces Only, and Reno's Glai Sez Reno Reno, Jan. 26. Mexico's bid for the divorce busi- ness of, America with Its mall order privileges and three-day residence requirements is going to put a crimp In the cheap divorce trade now flowing into Reno's court house. . . Reno attorneys, who t&ke 'em- for $60 or better, are looking for an awfiil slump in I'acket as soon as Mexican'divorce mill starts grind- ing. ^ .Mexican divorces, however, are not going to be . very popular'with clients-who can squander a couple of grand' for blue ribboned Reno diploma, it is contended by Reno's legal taJent, -who. assert that pos- sibly the Mexican mill wlU keep lot of busted divorce seekers out of Reno aind do the town's, service. : Nearly enough money was taken In by -Reno county clerk last year In niing fees for divorce coses to build badly needed addition to 20' year-old court house and work is scheduled to start next spring. Nevada has no intention of tlnk erlng any more with divorce laws, regardless of Mexican threat or ac tlvitles of Arkansas and Idaho In trying to break Into business. LaW' yers here are afraid that if state legislature ever starts to liberalize divorce law any further It la liable to be repealed entirely and the whole works kicked Into the creek. 'Buy British' Worries Continent's Casinos . I^ls, Jan. 14, French gambling cuinos and re- sorts paid $10,000,000 taxes last year, halt of which weiit to the state, balance to .cities, eto. The three biggest taxpayers were the Munlcl pal Casino in Cannes, the Gould Casino de la Mediterranee in Nice, and the Casino de la Foret at Le Touquet, each of them chipping In slightly over $800,000, with the Palm Beach in Cannes following with $680,000. Engbien, near Paris and the Promenade in Nice each about $660,000. All other French places are below half a million dollars. Deauvllle comes in only for $400,- 000. Le Touquet's heavy score can mostly be attributed to its proximity to England, with British visitors weekending there plenty. Touquet is much worried by Eng- lish propaganda to -keep English visitors in English resorts, which points out thaf English visitors In France have spent over $160,000,000, which would insure the prosperity of English resorts if it remained In the country. Monte Carlo Casino has nothing to do -with the French government, being established in the independent principality of Monaco. Start on Mardi Gras ., JJew Orleans, Jan. 25. Annual Mardi Gras has been set for Feb. 9. Town, which has felt the depres- sion less than any other spot in the country, will make a strong drive to make thi.s the top local carnival lo date. BIRTHS Mr. and Mrs, J. K. Mclnornoy, son, at IJronx Maternity hospital, New York, Jan. 15, Father Is advertising contact man with Publlx. > Mr. and Mr,s. George- 'Snyder, (laughter, Jan. 23, In Now York. I'"nthcr Is of Lyons and Snyder (vaudo). Mother was Jane May, Houbrct, Mr. and Mrs, Sid Silverman, son Jan, 23, In Now York. Mother is (he former Marie .Saxon of musical ■cymedy. ; Kansils City, Jaa. H. Thomas .F. Bleistein and . Miss Gertrude Salfin, -known profesoion- ally as Bozo Snyder and Gertrude Hayes, Jr., burlesque, soubret, were married on the $tage of the^Gayety theatre Th.ursday night (21) foUow- nlg the; regular performanoe of the stock burlesque show, The stage wedding had been play- ed Up strong in the press from the angle that Bozo, would have to break his silence and speak- a line on the stage, and he did when he answered 'I Will,' Snyder and Miss Hayes have been featured during the lost three weeks as guest artists at the Gayety, 'Officer' Sonney Most TeH L A. Labor Comm. AboDt His Man, Harry Los Angeles, Jan. M, Louis S. Sonney, proprietor of Of- ficer Sonney's Historical Huseum, traveling wax show, was summoned to the labor bureau today to say what about Harry Jacob (Ah, There) Freeman's wage claim. Freeman wrote to the bureau from Houston, Texas, where he claims to have stranded, saying his Job with the show was ticket seller, Dianager, porter, laborer, lecturer, secretary, and Janitor at $21 a week. After traveling with the show all over California and Arizona last year, he said Tie was fired Dec. 27 because he asked tor his ; wages four ditterent times. Willing to Settle After deducting the . four-bits nightly Sonney accused him of tak- ing out of the receipts for supper money, also $2.60 a day for board at Soney's house In Los Angeles during a month . Freeman said - he was. laid off from the- show aiid made to do car-repalring and man- ual labor. Freeman figures Sonney owes him $876. He -wrote the la- bor bureau he would ce41 It square for $600 cash, or U. Sonney would, ship him at Houston some show paraphernalia stored in Sonney's garage, he would call It quits for $100. 'Mass of documentary evidence sent on by Freeman to the labor bureau includes a typewritten let- ter from a member of Sonney's family bawling out the disgruntled ex-employee on 19 counts. One paragraph was: *Why should Mr. Sonney pay a man like you $80 a month? What drawing power was you -with two big shows In Oakland in storage, one divorced wife, lost a $60,000 suit, now you're out to bluft an honest respectable citizen.' For the information of the labor bureau. Freeman explains that Of- ficer Sonney is a tradename used by . Sonney after he captured Roy Gardner, the mail bandit, and that he still carries a gun and hand- cuffs. Los Angeles, Jan, 26. While civic pride calls for Los Angeles to tell tlte world it's the' fifth largest city in the United States and the garden spot of the - world, tho mayor and cbuncilmen of the city . are working hard to win for It a 'reputation tie the world's champ small town. .City ordinances are loaded down with trick laws,, making them sec- ond to Joe. Miller's efforts as funny material; . is'or Instance, there's the curfew law. Evei-y night at nine o'clock the whistle blows announc'^ ing that' all good javesj should get oft the streets and..to bed. The law is never enforced, but a yell went up when somebne euggested it was out of date and should be taken off the'books. No, alrj It's a good ole . law, and thar she'sticks. Saying Horses At present there is a new .ordi- nance passed by the council and awaltlhg the mayor's signature pro- hibiting parking of automobiles within 20 feet of any watering trough in the downtown section. . £<ver since Mayor ' Porter was 24-sheeted for' walking out of a ban- quet in Paris last year because wine . wa.s served he's been trying , to be the west coast edition of Jimmy . Walkeit-H>nly .different. L. A. has been trying to live down the Paris episode, but too many long remem- bering writers keep bringing it up. Still the mayor sticks to tils guns and helps clown up the town. When 'Lysistrata' was pulled it wais suggested that the council and the mayor visit the show and decide for themselves It the performance was oft color. They yelled murder. None of them would take a chance on their morals.. Later It was'dis- covered that one . councilman had attended the show. The poor guy . win never live it do-wn. Nothing In L. A. to attract anyone who wants .to move a leg after dinner. MARRIAGES Dorothy Wristen to Arthur Christy, New York, Jan, 20. Groom Is a tympanlst in Roxy orch. Alls M. Beaumont to Hugh.' W. Martin, London, Jan. 20. - Groom was once with Met bp as Rlcardo Martin. Mary Elizabeth Slaughter to Hal Kemp, Lake Charles, La., recently. Komp Is a bandmaster. Jacqueline Miller to John ' H. Ilarrls, Hollywood, Jan. 22, Bride is known on the screen as Lucille Wil- liams. Gi-oom is the Pittsburgh Warner theatre operator. Don Thompson, KPO San Fran- ('Isco sports )p.nnounccr. Is to marry 'Cella Augusta Martinez, non-pro of Mexico City, Jan. 3}. Rev.iPaul I'ltman, also a KPO iiroadcaster, will perform the ceremony.' Poggy AUcnby to John McGovcrn, In New York, Jan. 22! Mlus AUcnby divorced Robt. Armstrong . about live ycarii ago. Ciroom Is'an actor, ACmSS, MOTHER BACK TO SCHOOL FOR DEGREE Minneapolis, Jan. 26. "Wilva Davis (Mrs. Paul Martin) has given up the stage temporarily to attend the University of Minne- sota. At the same tim^, she's caring for her seven-months-old twins and taking part In university dramatics. Her. husband Is a stage director. Mrs. Martin left college before graduating, to embark on a stage career. She played with Walker 'Whiteside, and alao has appeared in . New York. After obtaining her university degree .she ' will return to the stage. HOT TEMPERS Besides Infidelity, ■■ Ground for Lysle Talbot's Suit Dallas^, Jan. 26, ' Claiming Infidelity and tempera- ment, Lysle Talbot, lead for Show- house here, is suliig his wife, Elaine Foster, for otvorce. Talbot alleges - bis frau is the daughter of wealthy New Torkers and -accustomed to live better, than he could afford. Be-. sides that, he admitted botli of 'em sport hot tempers. Wife was in Showhouse cast until December, when James Hayden brought Talbot back; Fashion Gets 6 to 12 Altoona, Pa., Jan, 26. Charles Fashion, operator of the. only roadhouse near the city when he shot and killed his brother, Jo- seph Fashion, and wounded his own wife In the* roadhouse on Aug. 29, 1931, was found guilty of AroluntairV manslaughter after a trial which required five days. Voluntary man- slaughter carries a penalty of six to 12 year."!. Sentence has been stayed pendli)g the outcome of an appeal. . " , Cliiarlfts J, Margiottl, Funsutaw- ney lawyer, whose succcssfuT pros-, ecutlon of Glenn Dague and Irene Schroedor for the murder of Brady I'aul, motor patrolman, in 1930, brouBht him wide recognition, based his case for Fashion on 'un- wrlttpn law' and traumatic amtiesia following a. blow on the head.